Corrupt A Wish

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Granted, but they chat about dumb things that bore you to sleep.


I wish I didn't have strep throat.

Granted, but it is replaced with breast cancer.

I wish I could fall asleep whenever I wanted.

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Granted, you have narcolepsy. You fall asleep even when you don't want to!

I wish I was at the beach.

Granted! It is a beach on the southern tip of South America and it's freezing. On the bright side, you do have some nice conversations with penguins.

I wish I had a pet lion. (Who does not want to eat me, by the way.)

Granted. You have a pet lion named Simba who does not want to eat you because he is a stuffed lion from the Disney store.

I wish I could eat all the chocolate cake I wanted and never be sick or fat.

after a very extreame chocolate cake binge you hate the sight of chocolate cake so you no longer can stand the sight of it, thus you no longer want to eat it. However you want to want to eat it which torments you.

I wish that I could paint just like Monet

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Health is a state of physical, mental and social wellbeing and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity I am not a jigsaw, I am a free man !

Diagnosed under the DSM5 rules with autism spectrum disorder, under DSM4 psychologist said would have been AS (299.80) but I suspect that I am somewhere between 299.80 and 299.00 (Autism) under DSM4.

Granted, but it may cost plenty in monetary barter if you wish to acquire such skills in a university setting.


I wish that space travel were open and affordable to practically everyone.

Granted, but you're on your own with operating the space ship.

I wish for some french vanilla coffee.

Granted. But iamnotaparakeet forgot to make a wish, so is now surrounded by vacuum and has nothing to breathe.

I still wish I had a pet lion, not one who wants to eat me, not stuffed.

Granted, your birds are now extremely dull.

I wish my cold would go away.

Granted. You find that it's not really a cold. It's avian flu.

I wish I had a root beer float.

Granted, after attaching a sufficient amount of helium balloons to a bottle of root beer it floats.



I wish that there would be a second age of sail.

The second age of sail occurs on a planet which is millions of light years away. subsequently the new alien civilization wipes out humans.

I wish that commute to work was replaced by arriving on zip-lines.

Granted, but it's only one way. It's a long walk home.

I wish I had a house full of cats.