Corrupt A Wish

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but there are so many cats that you cannot reach the food bowl! As a result the cats resort to cannibalism and eat each other until you have a house full of CAT... Skeletons....

I wish learning "memorization" material was as easy as plugging a USB drive into your head.

Granted. But a virus entered your head.

I wish I don't need to go to school tomorrow.

To make up for no school tomorrow they decided to get rid of Saturdays off.
(btw I really like the virus thing... I laughed when I read it)

I wish for peace on earth.

Granted. For 24 hours all fighting, violence, and wars stop. Then people start muttering about "mind control" and the wars start again, even worse.

Well, that was grim. Sorry. How about something light. I wish that I lived next to a mountain of ice cream.

Granted. Come the spring, it melts and you drown.

I wish to be physically strong.

Granted, but you have to lift some weights regularly.



I wish that I could have a job that my father in law would consider a "real job", whatever the heck that's supposed to be.

Granted. You are now a bar bender, a real man's job! The pay sucks, the hours are irregular and your body is broken by the time you are thirty.

~

I wish for countrylines to disappear.

Granted, all of the current countrylines disappear and the world is now called "China".



I wish for the planet Mars to be both successfully terraformed and successfully colonized by hyperintelligent parrots from Tau Ceti gamma.

Granted. Their idea of terraforming is to plant bird seed and to cover all land masses with used newspaper. Now they are starting on earth.

I wish today will be a good day.

Granted. But it is a good day in the opinion of dolphins... the entire world is flooded.

I wish I could communicate telepathically.

Granted. The voices drive you mad

~

I wish for the oldest whiskey bottle (yes, with the oldest whiskey inside) in the world.

Granted. It's so old that when you try to open it, it shatters into a million pieces.

It's raining. I like the rain. I wish that it would rain for the next day or two.

Granted. The rainfall causes torrents and mudslides which all collide at your house.

~

I wish for a paperclip

Granted but its at the Fedex depot near here marked 'collect from depot'.

I wish for a trailer load of pea gravel.

Granted. You are now buried under pea gravel.

I wish tomorrow was still Sunday.

Granted. The boat transporting sank, it's at the bottom of the Mariana Trench.

~

I wish for being able to cast rune magic.