Corrupt A Wish

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Granted, because it should always be granted. Everyone deserves someone capable of loving them back.

I wish I could understand when somebody is hinting at something.

Granted, but only when it's your turn to wipe a babies bottom

I wish I could make my eyes do this

Granted, but now your eyes are stuck like all the time and you have to use Restasis for dry eyes twice a day every day.

I wish I could gain 5-10 pounds without stuffing myself with food.

Granted, but it requires relaxing more. (Energy in minus energy out, so to gain weight either an increase in input or a decrease in [calorie burning] output is necessary.)



I wish I could lose about 105 pounds, however feeling tired most of the time doesn't help.

Granted, your arms and legs get slowly gnawed off by rats as you sleep.

I wish for chocolate milk.

Granted. It's a "2 girls 1 cup" special

~

I wish I am a Lego Masterbuilder

Granted, you are compelled to make enormous life-like pink phalluses out of Lego.

I wish I had more energy.

Granted, stand up and you will have increased the height of your center of mass, thereby increasing your gravitational potential energy.



I wish that there were a sequel to Outlander giving more background about Cainan's people.

Granted. They screw up and you get dissappointed in the other material.

~

I wish for the ability to pull out hearts like in Indiana Jones
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KBIdcUxdgo0[/youtube]

Granted but unfortunately you do it by accident on your cat (I don't mind though, woof woof)

I wish I could do that moonwalk dance properly

Granted. You rip your Achilles' heels

~

I wish for a pack of Flying Monkeys to do my biddings

Granted, but they also do others bidding and one of the other people bids them to no longer do your bidding and instead dismantle your remote controls and swap the rubber buttons around.

I wish for surgery to fix my achilles heals so I can get back to my insane moonwalking moves.

Granted. The surgery didn't help, they had to amputate both you entire legs!
You know got 2 giant peglegs

~

I wish for the flying monkeys to do only my bidding and not that of others and ofcourse that my remote control is back in it's previous state.

Granted but then the Monkeys get a union and go on strike, they no longer work for peanuts and want super and health insurance.

I wish for some Robolegs so I can get back once again to my insane moves, the superfly ones

Granted. Now Robocop wants his legs back, so he hires the Terminator to get them for him.

~

I wish the flying monkeys to stop complaining and get back to work.

They ignore your wish because now they are unionised and they need a union authorised directive to fly about. Also they demand orange safety vests tailor made with their own names monogrammed on the front, and the word 'Flying Monkee Crew' on the back. Thats all for now they say.

I wish for a T3 to fight off the Terminator so I can continue my insane dancing moves in peace.