Corrupt A Wish

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Granted, you now have no short term memory.

I wish I could control my life.

Granted, you can control your life through programming using the C++ programming language using a Cyrillic alphabet

I wish I had a duck

Wish Granted. Your duck has been dead for 5 weeks and have maggots running all through it.

I wish I could change the past.

granted , but have you seen the butterfly effect ......... very bad idea

i wish the holidays ran for 364 days a year

Granted, the holidays last 364 days a year so you must do everyones work for them.

I wish I had superpowers.

Granted you have super-flatulence

I wish I had a pet unicorn.

Granted but you can't help yourself and drink its blood

I wish I had controllable super-flatulance

Granted, you can control the frequency of your flatulence. However the frequency never goes below once a day and the lower the frequency the worse the smell.

I wish my double wouldn't remember he had a dentist appointment the day before the first show so that I have to switch with him and have my whole family and all my friends miss my performance.

Granted, the dentist will now see you during your show.

I wish that I had some pizza here.

Granted. The toppings are eggplant, lima beans, and kiwi fruit.

I wish I had super speed.

Granted! No corruption advised.

I wish for shape-shifting powers.

Granted. You have the power to shape-shift into a soccer ball and you are being kick around from young kids to professional soccer players.

I wish that I have no emotions.

Granted. You are now an android.

I wish that vegetables tasted like candy.

Granted, you're allergic to the flavouring.

I wish I had my own house.

Granted. You now have a beautiful doll house.

I wish someone would tell me a funny joke.

Granted. There's a blonde a brunette and a redhead. (There's the joke, it's just missing a bit).

I wish I could control reality.