Corrupt A Wish

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Granted, your cat hides in an alley and starts soliciting other cats 'for a good time, miaoowww'

I wish Zeek had to get my daughter out of bed in the morning and ready for school.

Granted. You now have Zeek as a permanent house guest.

I wish I could have a steak for dinner, instead of diet food.

Granted, you can have a steak for dinner, it's part of a cow standing in your garden.

I wish I felt better

Granted, but it's only temporary.

I wish for a fun weekend.

Granted, fun for all the "wannabe gangsters" at your school beating you up. (if you happen to be out of school then replace this with "fun for your employer making you go to work".)

I wish the public educational system had online resources for me to catch up on school work online while being sick. Seriously WTF? They have the technology available why don't they just do it? grrrrr /rant.

Granted and at the end your credit card is debited $15,000

I wish I had more coffee, in fact I wish I had that coffee tank back-pack thing that Dilbert had

Granted, you drink so much coffee you start to shake so uncontrollably that you burn off all your carbohydrates then fat then muscle then organ failure then you die.

I am not quite sure how I would get into 15grand debt though. mind explaining?

I wish the tables they used in restaurants were bigger so I didn't feel awkward when I ate there. Because I feel clumsy with such little room in front of me.

1. Oh mucked up post..2. I came back from the dead with anti-coffee drugs

Granted, the tables are bigger but are made of lime Jello

I wish for breakfusss!

Granted, no corruption advised

I wish the government would start using the scientific method to make decisions.

Granted. Religion is now accepted as Science.

I wish I knew what created the universe.

NOOOOOO ragee!! ! Religion can NEVER be accepted as science!
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T69TOuqaqXI&feature=player_embedded[/youtube]

They are simply INCOMPATIBLE.

As religion has a strict code of adherence while science allows it's ideas to change depending on the evidence given.

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Granted, you are 100 years in the future.

I wish we could all be friends.

Granted. All your friends will want to loan money from you.

I wish I had a sandwich.

Granted. You now have a turnip and jellybean sandwich.

I wish I had another slice of pizza.

Granted. Your slice of pizza is made out of my sandwich.

I wish I had a sandwich that tasted good.

Granted. You have a ham sandwich. It tasted good to the dog that stole it from you.

I wish Yensid had made a wish.