Corrupt A Wish

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Granted, but the knowledge of my meaning drives you insane with its twisted intent.

I wish for a big sunny meadow to be in.

Granted you find yourself in a meadow entirely filled with old Nissan sunny carcasses

I wish for a back massage by an expert back-cracker massager

Granted, your spine is cracked and you are now paralyzed from the waist down.

I wish for revenge.

You get it but a big troll comes long and blows raspberries at you and you float a way in a river of saliva

I wish for strapples power chair

Granted, it falls on top of you and crushes you, causing serious injury.

I wish for originality in my ideas.

Wish Granted but you cannot express any of your ideas.

I wish I understood why the world is as it is.

Granted, but they are original but at the same time boring

I wish for an electric pencil sharpener

Granted, all your pencils are now sharpened and electrified, so that whenever you touch them your eyebrows are singed.

I wish for a pair of sunglasses.

Granted, they would look really cool if they had lenses

I wish to power my household electricity supply by harnessing my pencils to the mains

Granted, but it rains for the next 40 days.

I wish my cold would go away.

Granted, you catch hypothermia instead.

I wish for power.

Granted. In fact, you are the most powerful person in the world. Able to even command time itself. Unfortunately, the media heard of your power and anytime you open your blinds or step outside there's no less than 200 people waiting for you to solve their problems.


I wish I could get an appointment with the neurologist sooner than a month's time...

Granted, the neurologist is a new game show.

I wish I had an easy decision to make concerning which colour shirt to wear.

Granted I used my magic wand form an earlier wish to turn all your shirts white (classic white, I was being kind)

I wish I could go on that new game show and win loads of consumer goods, trinkets and baubels

Granted, but those prize are cheap knock-offs. You got ripped off, playing the game for nothing.
I wish the sewers were above buildings.

Granted - but the pipes remain below ground so you spend the rest of your life under an umbrella, never daring to look up, and you really don't want to know what happens when it rains.

I wish I had twice as much money as I have now.