Corrupt A Wish

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Granted. It has started to hail.

I wish that bureaucrats and other paper pushers would work faster and more productively.

Granted, however the bureaucrats, in there haste, now strive for quantity in the absence of quality... meaning every action they do is now completely incorrect!



I wish that Wal-Mart never existed.

Granted, the old guy who would of been a greeter is now pelting you with fruit.

I wish people would just stop breeding for at least a month!

Granted, every living thing stop breeding forever.



I wish that gold was more affordable.

Granted. The price of gold is now fixed at $1 per pound. Unfortunately, nobody wants to sell it at that price.

I wish that I lived in an underwater home.

You can live underwater, but you have to live underwater for the rest of your life. Boring, huh?

Oh, dear, no wish. That means that the Committee of Wish Corruption will choose something for you.

Granted. All of the major networks play reruns of soap operas all of the time.

I wish that I could see in the dark.

Granted. But you get blinded by the first sunrise.

I wish I could talk to dogs.

Granted. You can talk to all the dogs in the world at once. They still do not understand you, though.

I wish that they could all be California girls.

Granted, now all girls are simultaneously transported to California.




I wish for parakeets to develop direct energy weapons.

Granted. But budgerigars had been secretly working on a similar technology and the result was the first (and last) Great Avian War.

I wish the climate was better balanced and there were fewer extremes.

Granted, it is now and will forever be -30 degrees outside.

I wish the toddlers in my class would stop trying to bite each other. (I work for a preschool)

Granted. They're all biting you instead.

I wish I didn't have to go to work tomorrow.

Granted. You are now reassigned to high school, and now the high school students are trying to bite each other.

I wish that it was raining today.

Granted, you just got fired for something you didn't do but can't prove it.

I wish I had an authentic samurai sward.

Granted. It comes with an authentic samurai. I hope you have a guest room.

I wish that I could solve my current problem.