Corrupt A Wish

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Granted. You get started, but the deadline has been moved up.

I wish that the people who put out viruses and Trojan programs would all be forced to attach each other.

Granted, but some of the people who do that are national security workers and nuclear bombs are launched due to excessive ease of hacking with defenses down. The nuclear bombs hit every Twinkie factory in existence.

"No, not the Twinkie factories!" you cry. (Cause come on, who doesn't love Twinkies?)

"Yes. The Twinkie factories." says the radiation-born voice in your head.


I wish that I had an awesome car, with the stipulation that the 'genie' granting it must be 'friendly' (in the AI sense, eg. altruistic and sharing my values.)*

*hint: this is impossible to corrupt unless the action that does so is for what I, myself, would consider the 'greater good', as otherwise it would not be in line with 'my values'. However, it only has to *seem* that way to me (ie. be what I, too, would choose - and we all know what a human would choose is not always rational), so some clever trickery could still corrupt it wholly. Just use second-order wish corrupting. Have fun with this one.

You corrupted my wish. Therefore, your values include corrupting wishes, so the second clause forces me to corrupt your wish any way that I please.

Granted. You have an awesome matchbook car.

I wish that everybody would be quiet for a little while.

Granted, but your ears fell off from lack of use.

I wish I could have three more wishes.

Granted. They are all corrupted too.

I wish that fashion from the 1960's would come back into style.

Granted, it comes back into style because a time machine goes wrong and everyone is stuck watching scenes of mass devastation from throughout history, over and over, for the rest of eternity (interrupting normal life for 2 hours at midday). The 1960s one is the least traumatic, so it's style comes back in fashion as a show of 'OMG history sucks, let's be the least sucky bit, eh?'

I wish that the human race repeats the last thousand years of existence, without remembering (even vaguely) the original, but with the new 'set' of current living beings.

Granted. This time the industrial revolution never goes very far, because all of the easily accessible fossil fuels were not replenished when civilization was restarted.

I wish that a few dinosaurs survived until today.

Granted. However their all the carnivioius stalking type.

I wish dueling would come back into style.

Granted. There is a long line of people who want to duel with you.

I wish that I had an iPad 2.

Granted, but it turns out the camera doesn't work properly. Ha.

I wish I could be bothered to continue Kingdom Hearts. I know I want to play it, but at the same time I want to do this!!

Granted. You play Kingdom Hearts, but your console breaks, so you continue doing this.

I wish that they would come out with a good movie version of the Narnia books.

Granted, but it is only available in the language of a tribe in Papua New Guinea and it takes 5 years for a version with English subtitles to come out.

I wish I would find a grunge rock band as good as Nickelback.

Granted. They make one song, and then they break up.

I wish that I had a bag of holding.

Granted, you are holding a bag on entrails!

I wish for pie.

Granted. You now have 3.14159....

I wish that I had a pet koala

Granted... you've now got the one and only fiercly aggressive koala.

I wish my cat stopped claiming my desk chair