Corrupt A Wish

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Granted, you get a package signed "pleasure afternoon".

I wish for a 40 billion years of wandering through the forests.

Granted, and all because you tried to take a short cut without a map, compass or GPS!

I wish to be lost in the forest.

granted, but some very friendly female frogs misplace you for their mate.

I wish I didn't have to go study soon.

Granted, you have to go study three hours ago! You are late!

I wish I wasn't cooking lunch today.

granted, but you have to do all the dishes!

I wish for a house in the mountains, with a little lake and not anything combustible in sight.

Granted, but you have to share it with a crochety old WP moderator.

I wish to sit listening to the trees rustling in the wind, the chirping of the insects and watching little white fluffy clouds drifting past.

Granted, but unfortunately your dog spoils everything with farting!

I wish for those homework to do themselves by themselves.

Granted, but they put the name of someone else at the head.

I wish for a flatulence free world.

Granted. Everybody starts spontaneously combusting due to not releasing any gas.

I wish John Lennon was still alive.

Granted. He sings only Yoko Ono's music.

I wish I understood people.

Granted, you understand everyone except yourself.

I wish someone would put the fire on my thumb out!

Nah, this is more fun

I wish for self-disposing garbage

Granted, your food supplies now have insect eggs incorporated which hatch out and your waste walks itself out of the door!

I wish for a garden that weeded itself.

Granted. You are considered the weed that needs to be kept out of the garden.

~

I wish for some Powdered Toast!

Granted, but I have no idea what da heck that is, so you get powdered granny with puny lips instead.

I wish for a Parisian flower lady with cheap prices.

Granted, she comes to live in your basement.

I wish for the grass on the lawn to grow shorter overnight.