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The Really Bad Advice Thread

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blackicmenace
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16 Apr 2019, 11:28 pm

auntblabby wrote:
sell chocolate beside an open sewer.

Surely the fresh air will attract customers, but might I suggest you kill two birds with one stone and cut out the middleman. Sell "chocolate" while you use the toilet.


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auntblabby
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17 Apr 2019, 12:04 am

blackicmenace wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
sell chocolate beside an open sewer.

Surely the fresh air will attract customers, but might I suggest you kill two birds with one stone and cut out the middleman. Sell "chocolate" while you use the toilet.

"piping hot." :eew:



WildColonial
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20 Apr 2019, 10:32 am

Try to smoke ballpoint pens.


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Antrax
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20 Apr 2019, 11:12 am

Save money on rent by moving into your work space. Use a gym for taking showers and storing your clothes.


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WildColonial
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20 Apr 2019, 11:34 pm

Antrax wrote:
Save money on rent by moving into your work space. Use a gym for taking showers and storing your clothes.


I don’t know, a few of my associates work for people who would think that was good advice.

To wake your spouse, throw a cat on them. Never mind that at least one dog is also in the bedroom.


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“‘Why was I chosen?’ ‘Such questions cannot be answered,’ said Gandalf. ‘You may be sure that it was not for any merit that others do not possess: not for power or wisdom, at any rate. But you have been chosen, and you must therefore use such strength and heart and wits as you have.’”


KikiKitty678
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21 Apr 2019, 9:00 am

You should wear waffles on your head to a job interview. It makes a great impression.



WildColonial
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21 Apr 2019, 11:22 am

KikiKitty678 wrote:
You should wear waffles on your head to a job interview. It makes a great impression.


And dab syrup behind your ears and on your wrists.


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“‘Why was I chosen?’ ‘Such questions cannot be answered,’ said Gandalf. ‘You may be sure that it was not for any merit that others do not possess: not for power or wisdom, at any rate. But you have been chosen, and you must therefore use such strength and heart and wits as you have.’”


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21 Apr 2019, 2:46 pm

WildColonial wrote:
KikiKitty678 wrote:
You should wear waffles on your head to a job interview. It makes a great impression.


And dab syrup behind your ears and on your wrists.


Don't forget the butter as hair gel!



WildColonial
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21 Apr 2019, 6:47 pm

KikiKitty678 wrote:
WildColonial wrote:
KikiKitty678 wrote:
You should wear waffles on your head to a job interview. It makes a great impression.


And dab syrup behind your ears and on your wrists.


Don't forget the butter as hair gel!


And wear a bacon and sausage suit, a la Lady Gaga’s meat dress.


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“‘Why was I chosen?’ ‘Such questions cannot be answered,’ said Gandalf. ‘You may be sure that it was not for any merit that others do not possess: not for power or wisdom, at any rate. But you have been chosen, and you must therefore use such strength and heart and wits as you have.’”


Antrax
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22 Apr 2019, 4:11 pm

Balance out the unhealthy effects of bacon by wrapping it in kale.


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WildColonial
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22 Apr 2019, 8:34 pm

Kale roasted for 20 minutes with olive oil, salt, and pepper is the bomb. Bacon fat would probably work too.

Wake up your sleeping cats by picking them up.


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“‘Why was I chosen?’ ‘Such questions cannot be answered,’ said Gandalf. ‘You may be sure that it was not for any merit that others do not possess: not for power or wisdom, at any rate. But you have been chosen, and you must therefore use such strength and heart and wits as you have.’”


auntblabby
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23 Apr 2019, 5:03 am

try to eat your own head.



Sylkat
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23 Apr 2019, 7:39 pm

Use an extremely expensive fountain pen as a stylus for your touchscreen.


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WildColonial
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23 Apr 2019, 9:48 pm

auntblabby wrote:
try to eat your own head.


I saw an episode of “Supernatural” where a character did that. Creepy as hell and put me completely off the show.

When your downstairs neighbor is blasting his stereo, ask him if he takes requests.


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“‘Why was I chosen?’ ‘Such questions cannot be answered,’ said Gandalf. ‘You may be sure that it was not for any merit that others do not possess: not for power or wisdom, at any rate. But you have been chosen, and you must therefore use such strength and heart and wits as you have.’”


BrokenPieces
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24 Apr 2019, 12:49 am

If you want to stop thinking about something, dip a q-tip in rubbing alcohol and stick it up your nose until you touch your brain.



auntblabby
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24 Apr 2019, 12:54 am

better yet, drill a hole into your skull and insert a lit M80.