Corrupt A Wish

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Granted. The world is your house, and you share it with everyone.

I wish that every time I make a decision a live band will appear and play a fanfare followed by "Congratulations".

Granted but its Justin Bieber everytime

I wish to always know the place I put my favorite pen.

Granted: it is stuck in the side of your head (ok, a little bit creepy, but you live through it, you just can't ever remove it).

I wish I knew.

Granted. But then you forgot.

I wish I had some bacon.

Granted. You have fake bacon made out of soy protein. It tastes like sawdust.

I wish for a good tasting, low calorie, fake bacon.

Granted oh wait what is fake bacon?

I wish for real bacon.

Granted. You are given a live, squealing, filthy pig and a knife. Dont get more real than that!

I wish I could cook like a master chef.

Granted, but you and nobody else can enjoy the food you cooked because it is laced with poison.

I wish to not be distracted.

Granted. You cannot do anything else until you have completed your current task, however long that may be.

I wish to go see the movie X-Men: First Class.

Granted. But you become blind right afterwards. For the rest of your life.

I wish to fly without harm.

Granted! No corruption advised.

I wish for the ability of super-speed without becoming sick.

Granted, but the laws of physics take over, and you age slower. When you stop moving, you will be 3000 years in the future and you will find Earth being controlled by an alien race.

I wish for the ability to time travel, without getting stuck in repetitive time loops.

Granted. But every time you visit a different time, you make it worse for the future and the past.

I wish to eat 1000 candy sticks and not gain weight.

Granted. The candy has no calories at all. Unfortunately, it has no taste at all.

I wish that someone would start a new game in this forum.

Granted, but it sucks.

I wish all the pizza for this afternoon's lunch hadn't been eaten before I ever got to have a slice.

Granted. None of the pizza was eaten, because it was topped with carrots and turnips.

I wish that I could see all of the history of the world.