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The Really Bad Advice Thread

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BrokenPieces
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24 Apr 2019, 1:27 am

auntblabby wrote:
better yet, drill a hole into your skull and insert a lit M80.


Then do a flip.



auntblabby
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24 Apr 2019, 1:49 am

BrokenPieces wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
better yet, drill a hole into your skull and insert a lit M80.


Then do a flip.

it will do the flip for you, you'll just go along for the ride.



WildColonial
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24 Apr 2019, 8:18 pm

Mention your tapeworm while people around you are eating spaghetti or ramen.


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“‘Why was I chosen?’ ‘Such questions cannot be answered,’ said Gandalf. ‘You may be sure that it was not for any merit that others do not possess: not for power or wisdom, at any rate. But you have been chosen, and you must therefore use such strength and heart and wits as you have.’”


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24 Apr 2019, 8:47 pm

have your picnic on the grounds of the sewage treatment plant, make sure it is chocolate pudding mixed with chocolate donut holes, and with lemon sprinkles atop it. :chef:



WildColonial
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24 Apr 2019, 9:01 pm

Go to a swing or salsa dance party and request “Gangnam Style.”


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“‘Why was I chosen?’ ‘Such questions cannot be answered,’ said Gandalf. ‘You may be sure that it was not for any merit that others do not possess: not for power or wisdom, at any rate. But you have been chosen, and you must therefore use such strength and heart and wits as you have.’”


auntblabby
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24 Apr 2019, 9:03 pm

eat electricity.



WildColonial
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24 Apr 2019, 9:07 pm

When substitute teaching a history class, chuck the textbook out the nearest window and say, “I was there. This is what really happened.”


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“‘Why was I chosen?’ ‘Such questions cannot be answered,’ said Gandalf. ‘You may be sure that it was not for any merit that others do not possess: not for power or wisdom, at any rate. But you have been chosen, and you must therefore use such strength and heart and wits as you have.’”


auntblabby
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24 Apr 2019, 9:11 pm

i'm prolly old enough to do that.
anyways, drink gasoline and eat a lightning bolt chaser.



WildColonial
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24 Apr 2019, 9:19 pm

Go to a wake and play “Dead Man’s Party” by Oingo Boingo on repeat.


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“‘Why was I chosen?’ ‘Such questions cannot be answered,’ said Gandalf. ‘You may be sure that it was not for any merit that others do not possess: not for power or wisdom, at any rate. But you have been chosen, and you must therefore use such strength and heart and wits as you have.’”


Antrax
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24 Apr 2019, 9:23 pm

WildColonial wrote:
Go to a wake and play “Dead Man’s Party” by Oingo Boingo on repeat.


I will stipulate in my will that this must be done for my wake.


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auntblabby
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24 Apr 2019, 9:25 pm

scratch a lion's @$$.



WildColonial
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24 Apr 2019, 9:28 pm

Call a tiger by saying, “Here kitty kitty,” while holding out a huge raw steak.


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“‘Why was I chosen?’ ‘Such questions cannot be answered,’ said Gandalf. ‘You may be sure that it was not for any merit that others do not possess: not for power or wisdom, at any rate. But you have been chosen, and you must therefore use such strength and heart and wits as you have.’”


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24 Apr 2019, 9:31 pm

Train Tigers to do magic tricks. And then perform with them in Vegas.


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WildColonial
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24 Apr 2019, 9:33 pm

Follow a skunk late at night because it looks like a cat and you want to give it some tuna.


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“‘Why was I chosen?’ ‘Such questions cannot be answered,’ said Gandalf. ‘You may be sure that it was not for any merit that others do not possess: not for power or wisdom, at any rate. But you have been chosen, and you must therefore use such strength and heart and wits as you have.’”


auntblabby
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24 Apr 2019, 9:37 pm

stroke a porcupine the wrong way.



WildColonial
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24 Apr 2019, 9:40 pm

Try to wrestle a wild gorilla.


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“‘Why was I chosen?’ ‘Such questions cannot be answered,’ said Gandalf. ‘You may be sure that it was not for any merit that others do not possess: not for power or wisdom, at any rate. But you have been chosen, and you must therefore use such strength and heart and wits as you have.’”