Corrupt A Wish

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Granted, but it will take you about 4.5 billion years to see it all.

I wish I could get my hair to stop growing after it reaches the length that I want it to be at.

Granted, but when your hair stops growing, your head starts shrinking.

I wish that I knew what to get my niece and nephew for their birthdays.

Granted you will now switch bodies with them for a day.

I wish for Pepsi to bring back Livewire.

Granted they are in your underpants and plugged into the mains.

I wish I had a remote control.

Granted. There is now a remote control for you.

I wish that people would be more considerate.

They are, of someone who emailed them about soup.

I wish I had access to Solvejgs fridge

You do you now live in the freezer.

I wish for more anime to be released on dvd.

Granted, but it won't play on your DVD player.

I wish that it would rain money.

Granted, but it rains nothing but pennies. (but not old valuable ones)

I wish I were awesome.

Granted, but you're only able to inspire awe through a very large and hideous growth under your left eye.

I wish I could bring happiness to someone's life.

Granted! No corruption advised.

I wish for smokers to stop smoking cigarettes in public.

Granted, but they now smoke them in your airing cupboard.

I wish for a great collection of books...

Granted! No corruption advised.

I wish for the same as the previous person.

Granted, but you have no place to put them.

I wish that certain person would hurry up and respond to my e-mail.

Granted, but the reply is in Urdu.

I wish for a car that didn't ever break down.

Granted. Instead, it never stops running.

I wish my father, King Triton, weren't so authoritarian.