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The Really Bad Advice Thread

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lostonearth35
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24 Apr 2019, 9:42 pm

Stick your head inside a lion's mouth. Or even better, have the lion stick its head inside *your* mouth.



auntblabby
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24 Apr 2019, 9:43 pm

get eaten by a killer whale



WildColonial
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24 Apr 2019, 9:50 pm

Test your canister of pepper spray by spraying it directly into your face.


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“‘Why was I chosen?’ ‘Such questions cannot be answered,’ said Gandalf. ‘You may be sure that it was not for any merit that others do not possess: not for power or wisdom, at any rate. But you have been chosen, and you must therefore use such strength and heart and wits as you have.’”


auntblabby
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24 Apr 2019, 9:53 pm

eat your computer



WildColonial
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24 Apr 2019, 9:55 pm

auntblabby wrote:
eat your computer


Mmm, microchips.

When you see that your creepy neighbor has set up a camera in the stairwell, stand in front of the camera and do your standup routine.


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“‘Why was I chosen?’ ‘Such questions cannot be answered,’ said Gandalf. ‘You may be sure that it was not for any merit that others do not possess: not for power or wisdom, at any rate. But you have been chosen, and you must therefore use such strength and heart and wits as you have.’”


auntblabby
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24 Apr 2019, 10:00 pm

^^^i'd do something else which wouldn't pass for howdy ;)



Antrax
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25 Apr 2019, 12:19 am

Use your hair as a paintbrush.


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auntblabby
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25 Apr 2019, 12:30 am

use your parking brake exclusively, for general braking.



WildColonial
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25 Apr 2019, 9:52 pm

Flip the bird at traffic cameras.


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“‘Why was I chosen?’ ‘Such questions cannot be answered,’ said Gandalf. ‘You may be sure that it was not for any merit that others do not possess: not for power or wisdom, at any rate. But you have been chosen, and you must therefore use such strength and heart and wits as you have.’”


auntblabby
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25 Apr 2019, 9:59 pm

don't flush for a year and use the "savings" to market a line of chocolate pudding.



CloudClimber
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25 Apr 2019, 10:02 pm

Lick worms



WildColonial
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25 Apr 2019, 10:19 pm

Fall asleep in a tanning bed.


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“‘Why was I chosen?’ ‘Such questions cannot be answered,’ said Gandalf. ‘You may be sure that it was not for any merit that others do not possess: not for power or wisdom, at any rate. But you have been chosen, and you must therefore use such strength and heart and wits as you have.’”


Antrax
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26 Apr 2019, 4:38 am

Never sleep, never die.


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SaveFerris
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26 Apr 2019, 7:02 am

Get really messed up on drugs and smoke a cigarette the wrong way round i.e smoke the whole filter before you realise that it tasted a bit harsh.


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R Tape loading error, 0:1

Hypocrisy is the greatest luxury. Raise the double standard


IstominFan
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26 Apr 2019, 9:28 am

Drink window cleaner



auntblabby
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27 Apr 2019, 4:42 am

use window cleaner as a suppository.