Corrupt A Wish

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Holy crap!

You can, but your mother/father/sibling/cat/whatever keeps yelling at you whilst playing, distracting you.

I wish I had the money for a proper acoustic piano.

Granted, the person you bought it from thinks that proper means broken.

I wish slavery doesn't exist in the modern world.

Granted, slavery no longer exists in the modern world because you personally do all the work of all current slaves.

I wish for a brontosaurus burger with half a ton of cheese and fifty fried onions.

Granted, Unfortunately Brontosaurus is not a real dinosaur (just the skeleton of an Apatosaurus with the skull of a Camarasaurus attached to it) so you only get a regular burger made from cow meat with half a ton of cheese and fifty fried onions. Dig in!

I was there were less wolfaboos on DeviantArt.

Granted, there is now one less but several more heinous members join and make your life a misery.

I wish for a personal helicopter.

Granted, no corruption advised because I don't know what that is.

I wish I am on time for everything today.

Granted, it is a Rolfcopter signature.

I wish people for a gallon of milk!

Granted, but while drinking it you short circuit your laser and die of electric shock.

I wish for some long sexy stockings.

Granted, they are 100 feet in length.

I wish for another shoe horn.

Granted, but now you have a dozen French bureaucrats singing at your window.

I wish to be formidable and scary.

Granted, you are a 10 foot long millipede that ends up choking to death due to the lack of oxygen!

I wish for a Taco Gazelle.

Oooh double wish.

Granted, you are 15 feet tall and resemble the hulk and threaten everyone with a giant shoe horn.

I wish my pet hippo didn't spend so long in the bathtub.

Granted, hippos are considered one of the most dangerous animals in Africa and your hippo is now out killing people!

I wish to be a better artist!

Granted, your works are destined to be derided while you are alive but critically acclaimed after your death.

I wish for a pint of English beer.

Granted, your name is now Better Artist.

I wish for a straw.

Granted, you get the short straw and are the one who has to give up your computer for a week!

I wish for something nice to eat.