Corrupt A Wish

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Granted, you now live in a desert.

I wish for a good nights sleep.

Granted, but just like Rip Van Winkle, you're out for 40 years.

I wish dh would hurry up & get ready to take me to dinner.

Granted, but now you're waiting for a table.

I wish for a paradox.

You can have your paradox, it is a pair of doctors which are are opposite sides of a gaint benzene ring. The only problem for you is that your cytochrome P450 will convert the ring into an epoxide which will stick to your face like glue.

I want to do the cha-cha and the jive all day long with a woman who dances in a very expressive way, perhapes Robyn would be the perfect lady for this. The part at 2 minutes 30 seconds of the "tell your girl friend" video suggests that Robyn as a latin partner could be the latin dancing version of driving a sports car.

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Health is a state of physical, mental and social wellbeing and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity I am not a jigsaw, I am a free man !

Diagnosed under the DSM5 rules with autism spectrum disorder, under DSM4 psychologist said would have been AS (299.80) but I suspect that I am somewhere between 299.80 and 299.00 (Autism) under DSM4.

Granted, but she is wearing literal stiletto heels -- she has knives on her shoes -- and she constantly steps on your feet.

I wish for a larger capacity disk drive in a small enclosure.

Granted, but your mil comes over to barrow your pc & thinks the cd drive is a cup holder. Her drink (a sticky, alcoholic concoction) gets into the motherboard & KABLEWY....

I wish I had a maid.

Granted. You get a broken-down robot who doesn't clean too well.

I wish I could know what to do with my life.

Granted, but you decide to be a quantum mechanical engineer & solve the worlds problems (ALL of them) & it leaves you with no time for your own life.


I wish I had some strawberry shortcake.

Granted, but someone took a bite out of it.

I wish I could wipe out certain peoples memories, so I can keep on trying to make friends with them.

Granted, but you never forget, and you decide not to be friends with them.

I wish that my foot didn't hurt right now.

Granted. It's now numb, but you can't walk without tripping.

I wish that I had an answer.

Granted; like me, you have ALL the answers--but they are all Smart @$$ answers!

I wish I was an oscar mayer weiner...

Granted, I don't know what one of those is, but a dog just ran away with you in its mouth!

I wish for some yak's milk cheese.

You can have your cheese but it contains a nasty yeast plus some proton pump inhibitor which raises the pH of your gastric juices. The yeast takes over your digestive system, this yeast makes rayon thread which invades your bowels. Enjoy !

I still want to do the cha-cha and the jive all day long with Robyn, this time I have a special pair of dancing shoes which have titanium plates to stop my feet being hurt when my partner steps on my feet. I will also have a titanium chainmail and kevlar covering my legs to prevent my partner hurting my legs.

_________________
Health is a state of physical, mental and social wellbeing and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity I am not a jigsaw, I am a free man !

Diagnosed under the DSM5 rules with autism spectrum disorder, under DSM4 psychologist said would have been AS (299.80) but I suspect that I am somewhere between 299.80 and 299.00 (Autism) under DSM4.

Granted, but you have to stand for 3 days straight.


I wish I could meet the Duke & Duchess of Cambridge.

Granted, you could meet them but you don't.

I wish for this wish not to be corrupted.