Corrupt A Wish

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Granted. You find a giant pile of refried beans. I hope you like beans.

I wish for a strawberry sundae.

Granted. The strawberries are so under-ripe that your face shrivels up from the sourness, and you require surgery and stitching.

I wish one of my arms was robotic.

Granted they do one of your legs instead

I wish I could learn faster

Granted, you now know it all but in a FLASH you forget it all.

I wish for a pleasant Wednesday.

Granted. Last Wednesday was pleasant. This Wednesday will be horrible, though.

I wish for a stunning revelation.

Granted, you learn that ALL the politicians in Washington D.C. are greedy, narcissitic, selfcentered idiots.


I wish for a quiet evening.

Granted. You will spend the entire evening in a coma.

I wish I didn't shy away so much from things.

Granted. You are now permanently drunk, and not afraid of anything.

I wish that my automobile insurance was cheaper.

Granted, your insurance is cheaper; because you own & drive a Yugo!



I really wish my dh would grow up!

your dh grows up so rapidly it turns to dust

I wish I could fly

Granted, you can fly...it's the landing that I can't teach ya'.


I wish people weren't such jerks!

Granted all people are dead now.

I wish I had a Hippopotamus.

Granted. People are much nicer to each other, but they are worse only to you.

I wish for a nice, juicy hamburger.

Granted, you get a hamburger saturated with papaya juice. It's very soggy and breaks apart once you pick it up.


I wish I could go to space. (and come back to Earth safely)

Granted, you are send into space in a shuttle with a team of people that despise you, the whole trip they annoy you and there no windows to see anything. When you finally return to earth, it's a devasted wasteland thanks to a nuclear war.

I wish for a happy life.

Granted, you are now Adam Sandler (AKA "Happy Gilmore")

I wish I had a lobster dinner.