Corrupt A Wish

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Granted your lobster is really a shrimp

I wish to stop being so gasssy

Granted, you are passed.

I wish I had a banana split for dessert.

granted banana splits are an entre now

i wish to sleep in the next hour

Granted, you take a nap. And during the nap, you get a nightmare.


I wish all of my dreams were happy and I never get nightmares.

Granted, but you only sleep for 5 minutes per day, and you feel really, really tired, all the time.

I wish for a week of holidays.

Granted, you go on holiday in Syria and get killed by riot police.

Forgot about my wish! I wish that everyone uses the word "bim" at least once in every one of their sentences.

bim, granted but it turns you into a bum.


I wish my daughters carpool would work out!

Granted. Your daughter's carpool goes to a gym, instead of where they are supposed to be going. They do get a good workout, though.

I wish that everybody would be nicer to each other.

Granted, everybody is so nice to each other that the world stops spinning.

I wish I had a brownie sundae.

Granted. It is a trough filled with 25 gallons of ice cream, 3 pounds of brownies, and 8 bottles of syrup. And you can't leave until you finish it.

I wish Firefly wasn't cancelled

Granted, but to save money, it now stars an actual firefly.

I wish that fleas would go extinct.

Granted a new bug takes over after

I wish to be more focused

granted, you are so focused that you start fires (like focusing sunlight with a magnifying glass)

I wish dh could fix his truck.

Granted. He takes it to the vet, and the vet "fixes" it.

I wish that I was already asleep.

granted, but like rip van winkle, you get a 40 year nap.


I wish SOMEONE would understand me.