Corrupt A Wish

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I can live with that situation.



Granted, but they may need more prior knowledge of your references to fully appreciate your humor.


I wish I had a 1 watt visible light laser.

granted, but the government gets jelouse & confiscates it.

I wish I had a Harley Davidson motorcycle.

Granted but Chuck Norris get jealous and confiscates your bike.



I wish I had an infinite supply of replicators.

Granted, sorry you can't use them since they self-replicate all the time.

I wish I could be invisible.

Granted, you are now invisible via phase cloaking and you neither have footing on the ground nor air apart from a pressure suit and its finite oxygen supply. However, you still respond to gravity and are in a state of freefall in which you have a maximum velocity when passing through Earth's center of gravity and zero velocity points at the two termini of the amplitude.



I wish I had a working Firefly-class interplanetary transport.

Granted, but it takes off without you.

I wish for a perfectly buttered piece of toast.

granted, but you drop it & it falls buttered side down....


I really, really wish for a banana split.

Granted, but you suddenly develop strong allergies to bananas.

I wish I could shoot at the TV and kill the people on the other side.

granted, except that the first time you try, you only kill your tv


I wish all of us would get over these colds already!

Granted. Your cold escalates to the point where it is not a cold, and you are over it. You hack up blood all day.

I wish I could allocate more RAM to my laptop's integrated video.

Granted all your RAM has been allocated to your laptop's integrated video. Now you can't even run your OS and your computer won't even boot up.

I wish I weren't so clumsy.

Granted. You are no longer so clumsy. You're even worse.

I wish for a box of popcorn.

Granted, but it's from the 1920's.



I wish for an infinite supply of antimatter.

Granted. However, you will need to hide all the auntiematter because the unclematter will come looking for them at some point because their dinner isn't ready.

I wish I had a chimney to burn some peat, I love that smell.

Granted, but the whole chimney sets light causing much smoke and a distinctly unpleasant smell.

I wish for it to be summer again.

granted, you now live in Australia & everyone is upside down


I really wish this headache would go away.