Corrupt A Wish

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Granted, but it's acid rain.

I wish for colder weather.

granted, Al Gore was right (?) and you are in the new ice age.


I wish the unions would straighten up & stop stealing from it's members!

That wouldn't bother me

Granted, they now steal from other union's members.

I wish I stopped caring about some people.

Granted, and they stop caring about you too then.



I wish for a Romulan Warbird.

granted, it's about 3 1/2 inches long and on a key chain next to the pink flamingo Tommy Lee Jones promised Ashley Judd in DOUBLE JEOPARDY....

I wish I had pink flamingo lawn ornaments

Granted, but your neighbors decided they liked them a bit too much and stole them from you.


I wish car thieves would be set on fire.

Granted. Everybody in the world is set on fire, including car thieves.

I wish for some low-calorie dressing.

Granted, but it'll give you shooting diarreha for the next 36 hours.

I wish a few extra days off from college

Granted. You get a few extra days off from college and find you cannot return. Now you are getting calls every 30 minutes reminding you about your student loans that you cannot afford to both pay and have a place to live or food to eat.



I wish that the Earth would be bombarded from orbit with asteroids.

Granted, but most of the asteroids break up into harmless dust and only bookstores are damaged.

I wish college was about learning and not so much about just getting a degree.

Granted, but then colleges might have to spend the money the get from student loans and spend it on things other than building funds and advertisements.




I wish I could build spacecraft that safely work.

Granted now you have the materials, tools and know-how to build a perfectly functional and safe spacecraft that will take any creature not bigger than a hamster to an incredible space adventure.

I wish I hadn't eaten so much yesterday. Damn you mexican independence day.

mexico is free??? idkt!

granted, you are malnourished.


I wish I had a taco.

Granted, but the chef used expired ingredients and now you have food poisoning to recover from.


I wish I were able to live for centuries along with my wife, in perfect health and not hungry ever. Hopefully someday travel safely throughout the solar system, seeing planets from orbit, walking on the lunar surface and on Mars, seeing what it's like to live aboard a centrifugal station, perhaps traveling across interstellar space and seeing what other solar systems have for planets.

Granted, tomorrow when you wake up your journey will begin. But in the end you'll forget it all every happened and you will wake up in your usual life just as it was before you went to sleep.

I wish I could read faster.

Granted. You can now read very quickly. Unfortunately, the only language that you can read is Ancient Minoan.