Corrupt A Wish

Post Reply New Topic

Granted. Here is your water, drinkability defined by FDA in 100 years time.

I wish I didn't have any wishes at all.

Granted. You don't have any wishes, so you disappear to avoid causing a wish paradox.

I wish that I knew 20 years ago what I know now.

Granted, but knowledge is gained by experience, so that just means you're 20 years older.

I wish the law of entropy was overturned.

Granted, you are on the Ice Planet of HOTH & there is no thermodynamics at all.


I wish my sons grades were all A's.

Granted; all his grades are A's... Auto-fails.

I wish for something worthwhile to do.

After all my friends and family members have passed away, what would the world be other than a place of strangers?



Granted, you go to a bookstore and buy a textbook to study. Learning is worthwhile by default.


I wish that I could find work with an employer who respects honesty rather than requires a facade. I can't stand people who require others to become liars.

Granted, but since the employer was truthful about being a misanthrope and hating everyone, you are fired before there is any chance of establishing a façade.

I wish I could take care of (A? Another? A smaller?) universe.

Granted, your home is now a universe, rule it wisely.


I wish I had a drink (of the adult beverage variety).

Granted, but after that, you get none for several months, causing you to act like a Dwarf Fortress dwarf in the same situation and hopefully excluding the tantrum potential...

I wish this wish would be corrupted (but mainly that someone other than myself, "paradoxes," for hours on paradoxes).

Granted. Your wish is corrupted, but since you didn't wish for anything tangible, you can't tell the difference.

I wish to have a happy day tomorrow.

Granted. But the day after that will be sad.

I wish it was socially acceptable (to everyone) to have long hair and a beard.

Granted. Long hair and a beard are now social requirements, but all your hair falls out.

I wish for for a $10,000 interest-free loan.

Granted; there is no interest, but due to inflation, the principal actually increases tenfold every year.

I wish someone would give -- not loan -- me $100,000 as capital for my own business.

Granted, but an idiot accountant made that negative capital, landing you in Ye Olde Debtores Prisone only after a protracted stay in Ye Olde Debtores Jaile. Then, after a year, you realize that the whole thing was a hoax because the Olde Englishe wert butcherede Like So.

I wish I knew exactly 0.00001% of all the knowledge there is to know in the universe inflexible downwards (Have at this! ).

Granted. You now know absolutely everything that there is to know about earthworms and a little bit about snails to make exactly 0.00001% of all of the knowledge in the universe.

I wish for a free, nutritious, filling, low-calorie, healthy, tasty meal.

Granted. You receive the meal. However, before you get a chance to take a bite out of it, it is taken away.

(Everything there is to know about vermin: less than 0.00001% of the knowledge in the solar system alone)

I wish I knew exactly 0.00001% of all the knowledge there is to know in the universe inflexible downwards.