Corrupt A Wish

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[Level 1 would be (IQ-12), not (IQ).]

Granted. They are causing LED's (specifically) to turn on and helium nuclei to ionize.

I wish to win at, "Last person to post wins."

Granted. Someone else, however, takes over, and a winner is me.

I wish no one disputes my winnage.

Granted. That is because no one would want to relinquish winning.

I wish for Jupiter to become a star!

Granted; by the time Jupiter becomes a star, night will no longer exist. It will be bright on both ends of the world.

I wish that I have the power to survive in outer space.

[Not always.]

Granted. You will survive forever in space, but will die as soon as you enter an atmosphere and will still feel hunger and thirst.

I wish for a barrel of elemental sulfur crystals.

Granted; I set them ablaze, and they instantly turn into poisonous sulfur dioxide gas.

I wish I am completely immune from death, hunger, thirst, and suffering.

Granted. Let us hope boredom is suffering.

I wish for apotheosis.

Granted. You are elevated as a divine creature, in the levels of Ahriman, Iblis, Hades, Loki, Set, Lucifer, and Satan.

I wish for perfection.

Granted. You now have perfect (absolute) entropy.

I wish I can be the Grand Vizier of the Imperator of the earth.

Granted. You are now in charge of all personal activities of the Imperator, which include but are not limited to:

- Wiping his butt after him taking a dump
- Cleaning up after him
- Cooking breakfast, lunch, and dinner for him
- Taking charge of all laundry and housekeeping tasks
- Paying all of his bills using your own funds

The list is endless.

I wish I could have unlimited money.

[Everyone knows that the job description of the Grand Vizier specifically states that he is to be an evil, plotting, schemer and puppeteer and poisoner, not (vulgar) slave.]

Granted. The stream of unlimited money is a parsec away and traveling at bradyonic speeds.

I wish for omnipotence.

Granted; you have omnipotence, at the expense of impotence.

(That is the stereotypical Grand Vizier, but a real Grand Vizier is actually the king's personal assistant. Much like the maitre d' or head servant or something like that. )

I wish for uninhibited and unlimited wealth and power, with no one to corrupt said wishes.

[But of course I looked through the best résumés for Grand Vizier. All of them required the evil (not so much), plotting (a lot but never followed through), scheming (same with plotting), puppeteering (trying to be a troll in real life), poisoning (belladonna is a herb and arsenic is natural), and reading Il Principe by good ol' St. Nicc [sic].]

Granted. Not [sic] one person corrupts said wishes. All of them do!

I wish to become the one to be called God with the capital G in this new universe.

Granted. You are "called" "God," but the real God comes in and strikes you down.

(For a while, I was thinking about the Prince of Persia franchise, but the Machiavellian premise is kinda sinister to me. That's why we call it "corrupt a wish." )

I wish for unlimited and incorruptible power and wealth within my reach.

Granted. It. Is. Just. Barely. Within. Your. Reach. Gone!

I wish everyone would log in and respond at some point so I can have 200 data points for my next social data collection. (Believe me, you would not want to know about the emotional detachment in reporting various things. Having control over when the emotions are felt is like satisfaction of the power drive.)

Granted. By the time everyone else logs in, a virus enters the system, and data points default to zero.

I wish for money. Right here, right now.