Corrupt A Wish

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Granted. You didn't need them.

I wish for the perfect short-term special interest.

Granted. Unfortunately, that means that there is a scale model of the universe inside your head, with a scale model of that universe inside the scale model of your head, with a smaller scale model of the universe inside the smaller scale model of your head.... Until the universe has a buffer overflow and someone proves that 1=0, meaning that 1 universe = 0 universe, destroying everything that exists.

I wish for a good art medium I can use to quench the creative drive (despite the fact that I know the art is poor in quality no matter how much more thought I give a piece of it than a piece of modern art).

Granted. You get a medium-sized art object.

I wish for a sunny day tomorrow.

Granted, it's raining at the same time. (Happens a lot around here)

I wish I didn't make my bacon too crispy today...

Granted. You make it soggy.

I wish for everyone else to have a perfectly good day.

Granted, the rest of their lives is a living Hell.

I wish my braces were off.

Granted. They were off, but they are on again.

I wish for fish. (Someone has to say it at some point!)

Granted. You find yourself in a giant pile of rotten fish.

I wish for a book with answers to every question.

Granted. That book is a copy of the universe excluding itself. Given enough time, any question can be answered by observing it and gathering data.

I wish for a quick solution to my unruly drive to create art.

Granted. You get an etch-a-sketch.

I wish for a good lunch.

I hope you like Whiskers

I wish for Zero gravity

Granted. You get a ride on the "Vomit Comet", but you get so sick that you forget the whole experience.

I wish that my last two days off will be completely unproductive.

Granted. Entropy wins.

I wish for better/subtler stereotypies [sic].

Granted, but they are still stereotypes.

I wish for a glass of egg nog.

Granted, but the egg nog is really old.
I wish for chocolate without calories