Corrupt A Wish

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Granted. The world ends. In spite of the practically zero probability, everyone's erythrocytes convert into endorphins, leading to a very happy but not joyful end.

I wish I could end the world.

granted but you must be the one to end it

I wish for more time to revise

Granted a Planck time.

I wish I could master everything.

Granted, but onl in your dreams

I wish for lovelyness

Granted, the world goes pink and green and rainbowy and sparkly with glowy insects and fungus-like plants everywhere.

I wish for a world with less color.

Granted, all you can see is white.

I wish to be a tap-dancer.

Granted, but only if you identify yourself

I wish for some sweets

Granted, you get hard candy, only it's too hard, and it doesn't melt in your mouth.

I wish I were 50 years old.

Granted you're fifty years older than me

I wish for more range

Granted. You can only speak or vocalize in the 40 kHz to 80 kHz range.

I wish for a province.

Granted. You now own a province of Sealand, one inch on a side.

I wish for a steak dinner.

Granted. Hopefully, you will like wax.

I wish for the blessed Amulet of the Aethiopica.

Granted. Though for some reason it looks like a plastic imitation of the Amulet of Yendor.

I wish for a run of good luck.

Granted, you'll have to run a marathon to earn your luck.

I wish for the Apocalypse to arrive.

Granted. It's a mini Apocalypse, and you're right in the middle of it.

I wish that a day was longer.

Granted. The day is longer, so you're denied sleep at the time you're used to and need to work more hours.