Corrupt A Wish

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Granted. You are comatose.

[2e32J is enough to disintegrate the earth!]

I wish I could avert Suspiciously Specific Denial.

granted, they are not of the allosomality to which you are attracted. if you are attracted to both allosomally heterozygous and homozygous, the individuals of your harem are utterly unattractive. maybe not human also.

i wish for my neural tissues to developmentally proclivitive to hypermyelination
(i wonder what the diversified ramifications of such a condition would be . . . )

Are you sure you understand the words you choose to utilize?

Granted. Your brain becomes a blob of mostly myelin. As is expected, the neurons die.

I wish for yarn.

mmm maybe no. the allsome business yes thats pretty straightforward. the other part i think i misappropriated now that i try to 're-research' and cant find where i got that from exactly. but what i was meaning to talk about was hyper-plasticity and neural overconnectivity and that sort . . .

your yarn is mostly made of chimpanzee pubic hair.

and i wish for yarn that is not mostly made from chimpanzee pubic hair.

Wish granted. Here's some yarn made out of spider webs.

I wish I had a dog.

Granted. Here is your order of General Tso "Chicken".

I wish I could decide what to do today.

Wish granted. There's a 5 years' pile of dirt behind the refrigerator, just waiting there for you to clean it up. That should keep you busy for at least 3 hours or so.

I wish it would start snowing again.

Granted. It snows so much that no one can move any significant distance without a heat source.

I wish for a tome.

Your wish is granted but the tome is too heavy.

I wish for a ps3

Granted. The smallest closed system in which you are suddenly has a pressure of 1.7321 atm, which can be either the triple or cube of a certain common number.

I wish for the Ankh-Morpork guards.

What the heck are those?? Your wish is granted, but they were manufactured by Mork from Ork and evaporated upon contact with water.

I wish for an F-22 Raptor.

Granted. It is falling!

.retupmoc a rof hsiw I

lol. Granted. Bill Gates hacked it. Wish for the old starship Enterprise

Granted. It is derelict.

I wish for a stygium ring.

Granted. Light from your computer screen falls on it and you scream as it autoclaves your finger with less of the water part.

[Ain't it fun to talk to oneself?]

I wish for a mirror that reflects across the time axis.

I wish for Stephen Hawking to be healed and live an extra fifty years as my live-in mentor.