Corrupt A Wish

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Granted. They do so except for one.

I wish for a grim, dark future in the forty-first millennium.

Granted, but you are put into suspended animation until then.

I wish for a disk drive that will never fill up and will never break.

Granted. Here is an adamantium disk drive, it is 99% full, read only, and compatible with no known device.

I wish to make the acquaintance of the most interesting man in the world.

Granted. Then, you are separated, never to have any contact again.

I wish for a poor TTS engine.

Granted. You now have an engine from the Transylvania Train Service.

I wish for a blue moon.

Grante you can have it next Preston Guild

I wish for automatic access

Granted - you have automatic access to hell.

I wish I could sing.

Granted however it sounds horrible and is so out of tune that people ban you from singing.

I wish my cogs would run with scissors

Granted. They have been converted into rotary saw blades made from the melted metal of many scissors.

I wish for a dozen of each of the polyhedral dice.

Granted. They always roll critical fail.

I wish I could move back to California.

Granted. Suddenly, the Arizone beachfront property advertisements stop lying and blatantly violate physics applied to geology.

I wish to have a cane.

Granted, but it becomes alive and starts to turn on you, whacking at you until you let it run free and find a nice female cane to marry and live with.

I wish that I knew every single word in my Biology textbook (in order of course).

Granted! But you lose ability to speak!

I wish to have more straps on my wheelchair


Me eating Pizza by Alin S, on Flickr

Yes I mean it.. mORE STRAPS.

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When in doubt, ask an autistic. Chances are, they're obsessed with what you need to know.

Autism Speaks will NEVER speak for me

CLASSIC AUTISM

Granted but you have to exchange them for the ones you already have

I wish I could think of better answers

Granted. You are unable to apply them.

I wish to concentrate even more on my strengths and min-max my existence.

Granted. But your charisma goes to -10

I wish I could understand office politics.