Corrupt A Wish

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Granted, but it finds you unworthy, and gores you with its horn.

I wish I could be a witch, and go to Hogwarts.

Granted. You are expelled.

I wish for nothing.

Granted, you are immediately transported into a vacuum, and you suffocate.

I wish that I could read everything ever written, and understand it.

Granted. Then, you become comatose.

I wish for something for nothing.

Granted, you get a barrel of toxic waste.

I wish that I could understand what, exactly, sanity is.

Granted. You spend the rest of your days making every attempt to prevent and avoid it.

I wish for a non-aggressive mink.

Granted your new mink smothers you with its love

I wish for a new table

Granted. A student gives you an error-laden table of logarithm values.

I wish for a coal mine in a business-friendly state.

Granted, but you fail to realize until it is too late that there are somehow thousands of undetonated bombs in the mine.

I wish that I will understand the "sequences and series" unit in AP Calculus BC in time for the AP test.

Granted. Knowledge of the other concepts disappears.

I wish for a PocketRef of the newest edition.

Granted! but it fails to power on... (i think its electronic)

I wish for about ehh give me 100 oz of gold

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Granted. Here's your 100 oz of gold paint worth about $8.00 a can.

I wish for a tablet.

Granted. You get a tablet of old, broken stone.

I wish that my neighbors would stop blasting loud music outside.

Granted. They start blasting loud noise loud even for NT's.

I wish for a PocketRef of the newest edition with golden page edges.

[Who said I was absolutely sure I'm an Aspie? ]

Granted. You accidentally leave it in your pocket and wash the article of clothing with the book in it.

I wish to understand the contents of AP Physics B.

[More precisely, people that continuously listen to various things with earbuds audible across the room.]

Granted. Everything else disappears.

I wish for dice.