Corrupt A Wish

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Granted. They like each other more than they like you.

I wish to own a hundred hydrogen bombs.

Granted every one dies no one left to fight.
Granted they all go off in you bed room.

I wish I had a fast car that looked good and had breaks.

Granted, the car has no power source.

I wish I were a witch, and attended Hogwarts.

Granted. You fall off your broom while flying.

I wish to get my bass guitar back.

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My nephew Coke needs to eat! Obviously we're related.

Gratned, it smashes on its way to you.

I wish to speak all languages.

Granted. You cannot control which language you speak in a conversation, and people end up not understanding a thing anyway.

I wish for more copic markers.

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My nephew Coke needs to eat! Obviously we're related.

Granted. You get two more, and their ink is gone.

I wish i had some smart water.

Granted. It has lots of life swimming in it.

I wish for a title deed to Deimos.

Granted, but it becomes an intergalactic landfill.

I wish to be worshiped by all lifeforms.

Granted. You are too busy worshiping yourself to notice all the other life forms.

I wish I got accept to vet school

Granted. It is a school run by Vetinari.

I wish for a world without Otter Pops.

Granted, that world is not the one in which you reside.

I wish that I lived in Tortall.

Granted. You now live in Tortuga, California. Oh wait--that's not what you said...um, wishes are not refundable.

I wish this mess would clean up itself.

Granted. It cleans itself of you.

I wish for this wish to be corrupted and not corrupted.

Granted, but your self-contradictory wish forms a quantum relation, always and never corrupted.

I wish that math were taught in a more logical order.

Granted. It is taught in the 0, 1, 11, 10, 110, 100, 101, 100, 1100, ... order.

I wish for a dice.