Corrupt A Wish

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Granted. They all go rotten before you get to drink them.

I wish to see the starry night sky in the country.

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My nephew Coke needs to eat! Obviously we're related.

Granted it is an endless supply of spoiled milk.

I wish to be in California right now.

1. Granted, but daytime never comes

2. Granted, you can check in but you can never leave.

I wish for a truthful politician that will be elected.

Granted. It refuses to run.

I wish to know of the location and direction and magnitude of motion of everything within a radius of 1000 ly centered on the center of the sun at the moment.

Granted. Everything stops moving.

I wish to drive on a 3-way street.

Granted. You crash your car as another car comes hurtling at you while moving upsilon.

I wish to be irrefutable.

Granted - you become geometry.

I wish I had an elephant.

[Aww, I was expecting something like "you accidentally contradict yourself and the universe explodes". ]

Granted. The elephant tramples you.

I wish to have enough time this summer for all of my planned activities.

Granted. You run out of things to do in the fall.

I wish I knew what to write for this one essay for... math class.

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My nephew Coke needs to eat! Obviously we're related.

Granted, you will have to write a proof of the Pythagorean theory..

I wish for harmonic convergence.

Granted. Now you just screwed up the entire universes defense system against outside forces from other dimensions.

I wish King Radical from Dr Mc Ninja existed.

Granted. He stalks you everywhere you go.

I wish to be able to see the fifth dimension (fourth spatial dimension).

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My nephew Coke needs to eat! Obviously we're related.

Granted. You find horrific Lovecraftian Monstrosities that consume your mortal being.


I wish Hitler died before he formed the Nazi party.

Granted, Stalin takes over the world

I wish to unscramble an egg.

Granted. Someone with a lower buffoon score and higher efficiency score replaces him.

I wish for cake.

Granted. The cake is a lie.

I wish I could tell whenever people are lying to me.

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My nephew Coke needs to eat! Obviously we're related.