Corrupt A Wish

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Granted. The auditorium is full, you are on stage and you have to answer questions about a subject you have never heard of.


I (wish) for some fresh and ripe watermelon.

Granted. 5m above you!

I wish for a mirror in Moscow in 1989 that creates an upside down chirality-reversed copy of what is shown to it.

Granted. The mirror has and will always be covered by a blanket that can not be taken off of it.

I wish meat didn't come from organisms that had to die or be injured to sustain our carnivorous ways.

Granted. It comes from organisms that have highly mitotic nerve-less growths engineered specifically to be harvested.

I wish for power.

Granted. You receive great amounts of power, but somebody much more powerful forces you to do his/her bidding so it is as if you have become a (relatively) powerless slave.


I wish for humility.

Granted. You brag about being humble.

I wish for a blast furnace on the ground in my line of sight accessible by walking in a straight line 3m away.

Granted. The blast furnace does not operate anymore and the 3m between you and it is filled with sharp handless swords, hot coals, put vipers.

I wish I could fall asleep easily.

Granted. You acquire narcolepsy.

I wish for a functioning blast furnace on the ground in my line of sight accessible by walking in a straight line on flat, featureless ground 3m away with no hazards within a light-year.

Granted. Destroying all hazards within a light year includes destroying the sun, and potentially the furnace itself. With the sun gone, all life on earth suffers a cold, miserable death.


I wish the sun wasn't destroyed.

Granted, but the earth is destroyed instead.

I wish neither were destroyed and nothing bad could possibly happen in returning them with this wish(I always try this one but it never seems to work, crafty magic man always finds a way to turn it bad )

Granted. Nothing directly bad happens from this wish. However, because earth is returned, all life returns as well. Years later, a sick-minded person is granted one wish- the wish is that anything horribly heinous and bad takes place on earth, and no good can possibly come from his wish. (best I can think of right now haha)


I wish for more interesting and giggle worthy posts to continue trickling onto this thread.

Granted.

I wish to kill my id.

Granted. Your superego contradicts its righteous self, making your whole psychological system over work and over react. Your id separates and you end up with multiple personality disorder.

I wish my iPod would stop crashing.

Granted. It starts smoking and sparking.

I wish for a tonne of gallium on the ground in my line of sight accessible by walking in a straight line on flat, featureless ground 3m away with no artificial, synthetic, neurally based natural, and toxic natural hazards within an earth's radius.

Granted. You destroy half of the earth's core. The rest of the earth becomes a hazard because of crazy volcanic activity. Earth is destroyed. You float through space in some strange air bubble of flat featureless ground and a tonne of gallium is on the ground in your line of sight.


I wish to fly around space and pop random strange bubbles.

Granted. The bubbles are plasma spheres somehow containing themselves and are composed of antimatter.

I wish for a Blackstone Fortress to fire at the earth.