Corrupt A Wish

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Granted. When you shoot at the earth, you weapons backfire, blowing up the ship.

I wish I knew exactly what dark energy is. That is, if it exists.

Granted. You lose knowledge of everything else.

I wish to wake up a sleeping bag.

Granted. You wake the sleeping bag up, and it proceeds to eat you alive.

I wish for a glue stick.

Granted. It comes with a screaming 6 year old who demands you help with crafts.

I wish for this wish to never be corrupted.

Granted. All other wishes will be corrupted though.

I wish to end all loud noises.

Granted. It becomes so silent, your brain starts giving you auditory hallucinations.

I wish that everyone I invited to my graduation party will be able to come.

Granted. They will be able to, but will choose not to.

I wish for a decent pair of shoes.

Granted. They are not in your size.

I wish for a decent shampoo.

Granted. It is scented excessively.

I wish for a therapeutic d20.

Granted. 1 minute after you get it, you drop it and it rolls somewhere and you never find it again.


I wish it was tomorrow already!

Granted. It was tomorrow. The next day is today. This day is yesterday.

I wish insanity upon everyone.

Granted. That includes you.


I wish for Kevin to do the hokey pokey.

Granted. I do it soaked in fulminate of mercury.

I wish for eutectoid steel.

Granted, but it is completely surrounded by turrets who want to protect it.

I wish for the ability to turn invisible at will.

Granted. The blindness lasts forever, though.

I wish for the ability to say two things at once.

Granted. You now also have a double consciousness to go along with that.

I wish for a TI-Nspire.