Corrupt A Wish

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Granted. Then, it breaks.

I wish to travel at an imaginary or complex velocity.

Granted. You will never be able to return to three-dimensional life.

I wish to run safely with scissors.

Granted. You receive a styrofoam block.

I wish for the Lady of the Lake to give me Excalibur.

Granted, but it is so heavy that it you drop it immediately, and are unable to pick it back up.

I wish for a perfect frictionless vacuum.

Granted. You are inside one.

I wish for 3 000 blank, empty envelopes.

Granted. You get 3,000 paper cuts.

I STILL wish for a Death Note.

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My nephew Coke needs to eat! Obviously we're related.

Granted. It is applied to you.

I wish for a clock built with parts literally outside this world (not planet but world).

GRANTED......but the clock itself is out of this world too

i want to go on a date w/ buggs bunny (dressed as a women)

Granted, you get Pepe le Pew dressed like Buggs Bunny.
Enjoy the skunkiness

~

I wish for your happiness to be equal to mine.

Granted. Both of us are now unhappy because of the soda and ice cream you spilled.

I wish to master all the skills I choose to master.

Granted. You lose the ability to use those mastered skills.

I wish always go with the wind.

Granted, since you did not define which skills you would like to master. You master the following: Grassgrowth Observering, Unscrewing a cap and imitating a Teletubby.

~

I wish for a wish to wish a wishful wish which wishes wishes in which wishes are wished.

Granted. This wish wishes wishfully a wish which wishes for wishes in which wishes wish for wishes.

I wish for a dead rattlesnake.

granted.....but it is randomly choosen and you now smell like fish



i wish no one could ever wish again

Granted. On second thought, not granted.

I wish for a gravity vacuum.

granted....gravity pulls all the dirt to the floor, now go buy a vacum


i wish i could swim w/ whales