Corrupt A Wish

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Granted. You cannot thrive.

I wish for cake.

Granted. It is baked according to the Cake Core's recipe.

I wish that WP will stop being so interesting so that I can finally go to bed!

Granted.

I wish for a 3"x5" index card.

Granted but it made of supper sharp paper theres you're blood every where.

I wish I could sleep for a year.

Granted, you wake up decomposing.

~

I wish for people to eat chihuaua's again

http://dkrainwater.hubpages.com/hub/The ... ood-Source

Granted. But a mad chihuaua eats you first.

I wish to be in 2 places at once.

Granted, you are experiencing duality at it's finest - Catatonic body in one place, disembodied mind in another.

~

I wish for a soul to squeeze

Granted. It is yours.

I wish to have need of no one.

Granted. You don't need anyone, but you want to interact with others.

I wish I am truly NT.

Granted. Shortly after, an injury causes you to lose your memories.

I wish for pie on a dish at equilibrium at the constant velocity of 0 affected only by gravity and the normal force by the table.

Granted. It is in a bulletproof display at a museum, and you are not allowed to eat it.

I wish to be able to learn things faster by a factor of 10.

Granted. http://www.popularmechanics.com/science ... c-computer

I wish to give everyone a negative dollar from my own money.

Granted. Your negative equity makes you bankrupt.

I wish for a "white hole", where everything escapes.

Granted. It is next to you and blasts you at a speed greater than the escape speed at an extreme acceleration.

I wish to donate negative five hundred dollars to Facebook.

Granted face books value went up 50%.

I wish to have a stomach to digest vegitable celuoce.

Granted. You have not the gut to process it.

I wish for a frictionless room with no air friction.