Corrupt A Wish

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Granted. You fall through the Earth's surface and die of heat and radiation.

I wish Sonic the Hedgehog and his stupid friends/team-mates/extra characters were attacked by the Primarchs and the God Emperor of Mankind from pre-Horus Heresy Era.

Granted. Unfortunately, the 'Nids swarm in and attempt to eat everyone.

I wish for plenty of minis and plenty of paint.

Granted. There only conscripts and the paints are only variations of purple and red.

I wish the mighty fist that s the Imperial guard would slay every twilight character.

Granted. The galaxy falls into a time of stagnation.

I wish for the Necrons to win and bring about unending stagnation.

Granted, everything ends and the cycle resets to begin anew with unicorns and rainbows.

~

I wish for Deathclaws to be real.

Granted. You are the first victim.

I wish to safely climb Mount Everest without using extra oxygen.

Granted. You then fall of and go splat.

I wish that a single blood angel landed in front of Edward the stupid vampire and ripped him and his friends and family apart.

Granted. There are no wooden stakes.

I wish for double tape.

Granted. It gets permanently stuck to you.

I wish for "x" to be less than 0 and greater than 1 at the same time.

Granted, along with dividing by zero the existence we now know is utterly destroyed.

~

I wish for a zombie apocalypse

Granted, on your birthday you are reincarnated into a honey badger.

~

I wish for the holy handgrenade of antioch

Granted, but the grenade has premature features, and blows off your face.
LOL NO FACE

~

I wish for a million dollars

Granted, the IRS comes along and takes all the money away with interest.

~

I wish for a remote control to mute children

Granted, but the remote backfires, making everyone but children mutes.

~

I wish I was a bird

Granted, but you have no wings.

I wish for a world with no ignorance.