Corrupt A Wish

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Granted, but your anaerobic respiration continues for too long and you damage your body because you are not using enough oxygen in aerobic respiration.

I wish that this month will have better weather than the last month.

Granted. Precipitation will be 0.1% lower.

I wish I could could travel freely through time and space

Granted, but you now live in a micro-universe with a lifetime of 1 second.

I wish that everybody would have a good day today.

Granted, but then animals wouldn't have a good day because many people only derive pleasure from shooting them for game or to protect game.

I wish that wishing upon a star could actually grant wishes.

Granted, but eventually you must realize that Elvis is really dead.

I wish we had more hours of darkness.

Granted. You will move to the North Pole in September and to the South Pole in March perpetually.

I wish to take the square root of negative infinity over zero.

Granted. You get a date with a stranger with a funky name instead of the ghost of Mr. Mostel. But you end up at a sucky bar, where your date runs off with somebody named Delta.

I wish I had more than one wish.

Granted, you now have one and a half wishes.

I wish to effortlessly swim the Atlantic Ocean.

Granted. You get eaten by a shark in the process.

I wish my AP scores are actually much higher than what was reported over the phone.

Granted, but they lost power before they could call you.

I wish that You were turned into a wookie jedi.

Granted, but you suddenly learn why people don't like to upset Wookies.

I wish for a strawberry slush.

Granted, but it's actually a puddle of liquified gore.

I wish that you were turned into a vulcan.

Granted. But a mind meld reveals all your most embarrassing secrets, as well as all your passwords, so that your personal info can be posted on the Web as though you put it there yourself.

I wish I knew what to do with that half a wish I've got left.

Granted, now wish for another fractional wish and maybe, note, I said maybe, you might eventually have a whole wish.

I wish wishing were determined to be terroristic.

Granted. You have been arrested without trial at a terrorist camp.

I wish for the toilet water to swirl counterclockwise throughout the earth.

Granted, but your sucked in.

I wish that you were a khajiit with the force and I got a phaser.