Corrupt A Wish

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Granted. He now is that banana, so he will forever after be known as Second Banana.

I wish ghoti could have that smart phone he wished for, that would properly operate without batteries or electricity.

Oops. I posted too late. Okay, TallyMan, you get your hemlock tea.

Now, about that smart phone for ghoti...

Granted, but it has runes written in demon-blood on it, plus a curse that causes you to vomit whenever you make grammar or spelling mistakes.

I wish that dragons, nymphs, the fair folk, and mermaids existed.

Granted. They align against you.

I wish autocorrect didn't exist.

Grunted. Auto collect doesn't exit.

I wish for a bigger banhammer.

Granted. It is now too heavy for you to pick up.

I wish for this thread to reach page 1000.

Granted, but the thread becomes so massive it turns into a black hole and sucks the entire planet into it!

I wish for a glass of water.

Granted. It's been turned upside down onto the restaurant table by way of putting a piece of paper over the top of it. The paper has then been slid out. Inside the glass is a tip, all in coins. You are the waiter, and it's your job to clean up the table and retrieve the tip. Good luck with your glass of water.

I wish I had my own rock band to entertain me at home.

Granted, but it is made up of Justin Beiber, an eighteen year old girl, and an orc.

I wish that you had pointy ears.

Granted, now you must memorize the first 999 pages.

I wish I could date the customer service rep at my bank.

Granted. The old one's just been replaced today by a hairy dude with a beer belly who chews tobacco constantly while picking his nose and scratching his butt.

I wish I had a piece of sunny yellow cake to eat right now.

Granted,. It is a cubic millimeter in size.

I wish to literally shoot the moon.

Granted, but you crash INTO the moon in the process. Ouch.

I wish that more people would believe in me.

Granted: your seen on TV and everyone believes your real and exist, but the sound did not work and thats the extent of them knowing and seeing you.

"Without any change in my self what so ever", I wish that all women found me to be the handsomest and most desirable and attractive male on the face of this world, and for all time.




[Oh wait, N/M, I already am, what was I thinking!]

Granted, you commit suicide due to the fact everyone is chasing you.

I wish that you had an immortal zombie pirate ninja monkey and a goat.

Granted. All men now deteriorate in attractiveness until the immortal zombie pirate, ninja monkey, and goat are the most attractive males remaining on earth, now that AspergianMutantt is gone. Women lose interest and the human race dies out.

I wish we could repave the driveway.