Corrupt A Wish

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Additional details -- place is dark, slimy, stinky and you are forced to go with the flow.

Granted, but break is over so get back to breaking those rocks in the heat of the flames.

I wish I had a brother.

Granted. He kills you to take your share of the inheritance

I wish everything was soft and bouncy

Granted, you can't get your car out of the parking space, you don't get to work, you're fired. You can't call the unemployment office because the phone just squashes in your hand. ETC. ETC.

I wish my computer time at the library was longer.

Wish granted, but almost all the websites are filtered.

I wish Craig Ferguson had never introduced geoff Peterson on the Late Late Show.

Granted. He introduced the next Hitler instead.

I wish a debit card made of natural materials.

Granted they make them out of giraffe bones

I wish I was dr. Manhattan

Ganted, but the blue radiation gives you cancer.

I wish I had gills.

Granted, they are on your forehead and make you look right stupid.

I wish glasses (both of the wearing and drinking type) would not break so easily as they do.

Granted, but they now weigh so much they break bones in your hands.

I wish there were no more cell phone games.

Granted, telemarketers have them banned. Now you receive telemarketing calls 24/7 and your voicemail is perpetually full.

I wish my barber didn't go golfing Saturday mornings in the summer.

Done, but now he uses that time to join a book club...that supports the teachings of Mein kampf.

I wish Cds stay a viable media for bands.

Granted, but they become harder to produce as the resources to make them become more and more expensive, as I magically turn all of those materials into pancakes.

I wish I could feel the taste of pancake with Maple syrup in my mouth whenever I wanted.

Granted, but in the new universe I created pancakes have unpleasant textures.

I wish I was a master chef.

Granted. You are forced to prepare unappetizing dishes.

I wish for a comfortable chair.

Granted, but it is in the middle of a classroom of screaming kindergarteners.

I wish for someone to bring me coffee refills each time I run out.

Granted: but you end up marrying the man, and he is your brother.