Corrupt A Wish

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Granted, but each hour is now only 30 minutes long.

I wish for a great day tomorrow.

Granted. Tomorrow will be the greatest day of your life. It will also be the LAST day of your life, so enjoy!

I wish the days were longer. Significantly longer.

1,000th post!

Granted. You are transported to Venus.

I wish for a delicious fat-free cookie.

Granted. It only costs one million dollars.

I wish for a relaxing day.

Granted. You O.D. on muscle relaxants and lose control of your bowels and bladder. You now lie around like a drool of melted wax on the furniture.

I wish I knew what to bring for the pot luck supper tonight.

(Tensu, congratulations! Don't forget you can make your own custom rank now. You can go to your page for updating your profile to do it.)

Granted, but you don't have any and you don't have time to go shopping.

I wish I could reach 1000 posts and create my own rank too

Granted, but the mods reset your post count to zero for spamming.

Oh, I'm eager to do it, but I'm currently in a state of severe psychological trauma and if I make the change now, my custom title will forever remind me of how much inner pain I was in when I changed it.

I know! I wish my state of severe psychological trauma would finally come to an end! [/asking for it]

Your psychological trauma comes to an end, but it's been transferred to somebody else. Sorry, I couldn't be more creative.

I wish I was a famous singer.

Granted. You turn into a sewing machine.

I wish to jump over the Empire State building.

Granted, but you do not survive the landing.

I wish for a pleasant surprise.

The genie misheares you, and gives you a PHEASANT surprise. The shock of so many plump birds kills you.


I wish I could ascend to a higher plane of existence, where I could fondly regard the rooftops of everyones house.

Granted, you are now stuck flying in a plane for the rest of your life, with no way for the plane to ever descend and make a landing for food, water, or anything else.

I hate to think what will happen when the plane runs out of fuel...

I wish it was Sunday every day.

Granted, but now everybody is forced to work on Sunday.

I wish for a valet.

Granted. He joy rides your car into a wall.

I wish referee stripes here horizontal to show what crooks they are.

Granted, but now time traveling prisoners on the lam can get away with robbery because people think they're just referees

I wish I was more capable of handling viewing large numbers of pheasants.

All you'll eat for the rest of your life is pheasants. They go extinct, and you die of starvation.

I wish I could have all the Dr.Pepper I wanted.