Corrupt A Wish

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Granted. You get very sick and the only doctor who can see you is Dr. Pepper.(who by the way is a real doctor)

I wish to know what happens when the plane Battleship_Halberd is on runs out of fuel.

It crashes. On top of you.

I wish I could eat something other than pheasant.

Granted. You can now only eat raw bark.

I wish i was tall

Granted. your name is now Tall.

I wish WInxp 32 bit would work with more than 3 gig of memory.

Granted. It now works with incompetent fools for low wages and no benefits. Consequently, it goes on strike and will not work at all until it gets better pay, full dental, a full time assistant, and a top floor, corner office all to itself.

(Tensu, I hope you feel better soon...)

I wish I didn't have to wait until next year to toast marshmallows again.

Granted, you are now stuck in an endless summer time loop with no ways to escape.

I wish that my favorite movie got an amazing sequel that included much more of my favorite character being adorable.

Granted. The success of the first sequel leads the produce to make a third one in the series. Not only is the third movie terrible, but your favourite character is killed in the opening scene.

I wish someone would do my topology homework for me.

Granted. I do it. Mind you I have no idea what it is and you fail.
(also, I read a fanfic like that, only it was my favorite characters twin who died, making it much worse. )

I wish the fanfic I mentioned above would finish being written already so I don't have to follow that abomination any longer.

Granted. But you're friend is only staying for a few days before (s)he relocates to an unknown area. Leaving you in a dangerous unfamiliar area that you're not comfortable with. Plus, you also have to make new friends along the way.


I wish Kobe from the LA Lakers would pass the ball more often.

Granted. However due to lack of experiance passing he keeps passing it to the other team causing the lakers to be the worst team in the NBA.

I wish donuts and pastry were not fattening.

Granted. They now make you dangerously skinny and you will die of being malnourished.

I wish the people who made the latest Alvin and the Chipmunks movie wouldn't attempt to remake "The Brave little toaster" in CGI/live action. Seriously. Look it up.

Granted. The outrage is so high that children's movies are no longer made.

I wish for a pet dinosaur.

Granted. You are now the proud owner of an 80 tonne Argentinosaurus huinculensis. Its enormous requirements for plant matter to eat bankrupt you within a year.

I wish someone would give me a back massage.

Granted. Edward Scissorshand gives you a back massage.

I wish to experience the seven deadly sins.

Granted! But you die before you can go to Confession, so you go to hell. No--that's too mean. You are avaricious and eat all the donuts, but find that gluttony makes you too slothful to take care of your lust, so you're angry and envious of those with more energy. Sorry, I can't remember what the other one is just at the moment.

I wish plain water tasted good.