Corrupt A Wish

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Granted. But you're now a dog, so seven isn't so young for you anymore.

I wish dinner were ready.

Edit: Oh, it worked! My girlfriend just called me to eat!

Granted. You've been captured by cannibals, and you ARE dinner.

I wish that this month was over with already

Granted. It is offset by adding another edition of the same month again immediately.

I wish grass was pink.

Granted. There are now millions of tiny pop stars poking up out of the ground, all of them singing things like "Dear Mr. President" all over people's lawns.

I wish my hand injury and back pain would get better.

Granted. You are now a disembodied talking head.

I wish my kitty would come home.

Granted - with a dead bird in her mouth and about to give birth to a very large litter.

Thanks, Mind. Anything I can grant for you? *rubs hands eagerly

I wish I could sleep through the entire night every night, instead of waking up after 3 hours of sleep.

Granted. You now live on the dark side of the moon, where it is perpetually nighttime.

I wish I'd remembered to make a wish in my last post, so that KittenWithAWhip wouldn't have been deprived of one to corrupt.

Granted, your wish was to understand that the dark side of the moon means the part not visible from earth but is lit half the time.

I wish the blue moon was really blue.

Granted - but its now such a bright neon blue that shimmers like a disco ball that you need sunglasses to see it and can't view it direct...

I wish I could live in a tree house

Granted. You're now a small bird, living in a bird house in a tree. Squirrels keep eating your birdseed, though.

I wish I were more aerobically fit.

Granted! You are sold as a gladiator and go through training for your upcoming fight.

I wish my internet would stay up forever.

Granted but now the speed is so slow it feels like forever to download a page...

I wish I was real handsome, well built and attractive

Granted. You're a Volvo.

I wish I had the power of telekinesis.

Granted. You have telekinesis, but your control of your power varies between little and none. usually none.

I wish my internet was both fast and stable.