Corrupt A Wish

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Granted. You get it by getting trapped i9n Aperture laboratories to be GLADOS' new test subject. Have fun!

I wish for a cheat sheet that I'm allowed to use during my exam today

Granted. It won't contain any information for any of the questions/problems on the exam.

I wish to travel east of the north pole.

Granted but your GPS is affected by the magnetic field and you keep going round in tight circles east of the pole for ever.

I wish for everything around me to be unaffected by gravity.

Granted, but now, everything you ever knew and loved is gone into space and can never come back

I wish Chocobos were real, and I had one.

Granted, but you have to ride it, and can never get off.

I wish that I could lose a few pounds.

Granted. 50% of your muscle volume is converted into a slightly greater amount of fat. Technically, you're a few pounds lighter.

I wish to go back in time 7,000 years and still live to the date at which I'd normally die. And without all that aging crap.

Granted. However you are in space where the Earth is now not where it was 7000 years ago. you suffocate and die. and 7000 years later your dessicated body burns up on reentry as the earth arrives here.

I wish I would get the position I applied for.

Granted, but the company that hired you went bankrupt later that day and had to close.

I wish I had the Gravity Gun from Half-Life 2

Granted - you have it, but it doesn't work any more - damaged in transit

I wish I could stay awake for a week and not need to sleep

Granted. You then need to sleep for 3 weeks straight

I wish professors didn't assign any work to do during Christmas break

Granted. It is all assigned the day after break and due the next morning.

I wish for politicians to not be paid in any way, including campaign contributions.

Granted but they all turned to crime to support themselves and formed their own Mafia, and the cops are too scared to arrest them!

I wish I could turn 18 again at the stroke of midnight...

Granted. You are now a Video tape copy of the movie 18 Again!

I wish the roads would clear during this snowstorm so I can get home safe and alive and my car in 1 piece. Remembere it is Amatuer Night!

Granted. You're safe and alive, and you and your car are now one piece. You'll never be able to separate yourself from your car again.

(I hope you really did get home safely.)

I wish my shoulder would stop hurting.

ranted. Your shoulder (and arm) gets amputated.

I wish the earth would rotate along a square path.

Your shoulder is healed but the pain moved and now you have toothache...

I wish I had a magic carpet for instant travel.