Corrupt A Wish

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Granted. You have to be totally good all the time, no vices at all i e no smoking, drinking alcohol or coffee, (only healthy/good) anything resembling bad or even "fun".

I wish I could be invincible and never get tired.

Granted. Immortality is yours. What would you like to do with the trillions of years ahead of you?

I wish that I could find a suitable way to track humidity in my room.

Granted. Your room will always be 100% humid with excess moisture falling everywhere.

I wish to walk on clouds.

Granted.You now will spend the rest of your life walking on rolls of White Cloud toilet paper.

I wish for a bowl of delicious, nutritious soup to eat, so I can warm up on this cold day.

Granted, very nutritious but the genie's chef forgot to put any salt in.

I wish for contact lenses that can automatically go into my eyes like nanorobots, saving me the trouble of putting them in...

Granted. They go into your eyes blinding you for life.

I wish people would answer the phone when I call them.

Granted, but their voice is way too loud, now you are deaf.

I wish I could change my identity, voice and looks whenever I want so I can pretend to be whoever I want.

Granted; you constantly shift though all the people you want to be at the speed of thought.

I wish I was warmer than 60 F, but colder than 80 F.

Granted. You got hypothermia as your body temperature is well below 98.6 degrees F and are sent to the emergency room.

I wish for a cold, but not frozen full glass of water in a cup i can safely drink from.

Granted. A cold glass of crystal clear stream water appears in your hand. You can drink safely from the cup without it hurting you, but that doesn't cover the bacteria laced stream water.

I wish both my jobs paid more.

wish granted, but it only pays in the giant, circular rocks they used to use in the stone-age(or whenever it was)

I wish I was able to focus enough to study for my three tests I have tomorrow...

Granted. Your eyes focus perfectly. Your mind, however, wanders far, far away...

I wish I could make videos for YouTube by simply dictating to the computer what I wanted to have happen in them.

Granted, everybody hates it, and your video is watched, disliked, and mocked by everybody

I wish I could sleep in tomorrow

Granted. You become comatose.

I wish for a tunnel under the Atlantic Ocean

Granted. It collapses as soon as you enter it.

I wish for one of those immortal chickens from the The Legend of Zelda series so I can wear it as protection with me and whenever someone intends to punch me, I will hold the chicken in between us so the person will involuntarily punch my Zelda-chicken which will result in an invasion of immortal chicken attacking the one who punched it.

Granted. The chicken takes it out on you as it doesn't like being used as a punch bag. It follows you wherever you go.

I wish a fairy godmother would come and do all my cleaning for me.