Corrupt A Wish

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Granted. She cleans your house out of existence.

I wish WrongPlanet had a Hadouken Emote.

Granted. However it is blocked by the Spambot Blocker so no-one can't use it.

I wish the coffee pots at work would stay full of good, dark, strong, hot coffee no matter how much coffee my coworkers and I drank.

Granted. Its strong and hot all right - someone put a whole lot of chillies into it, and added HP sauce to make it darker.

I wish I need never sleep and yet stay healthy and strong..
.

Granted. You are healthy, strong and INSANE! You have gone insane from not dreaming.

I wish The sky would turn red all the time.

Granted, you are transported to Mars.

I wish to take the logarithm of a negative number.

Granted, you spend the rest of your life being ostracized.

I wish I had social skills.

Granted. Your social skills are now so brilliant that you are well known throughout the world and you don't get a minute's peace from the paparazzi and the people chasing you for your autograph!

I wish I could travel instantaneously to anywhere in the world I want to be.

Granted, but now you don't want to be anywhere.

You forgot to wish...

I wish I was more prepared for my college search

Granted, but the colleges are not prepared for you.

I wish that weekends would last longer.

Granted, but so do the weekdays

I wish for my laundry to do itself

Granted. But, since "do" can be used euphemistically to mean multiple things, you are now thoroughly embarrassed, and your laundry is not only clean but also dead.

I wish I could make my computer never have anything go wrong with it.

Granted. You lose the electrical power source so your perfect computer can't turn on.

I wish tires never became flat.

Granted. They just spontaneously combust every couple of weeks instead

I wish I could remember what it was I planned to wish for when I clicked on this thread

Granted. You remember, but now you've used your wish up by wishing you could remember your wish. Oh well.

I wish Valentine's day was over, so I don't have spend the day working in the floral shop surrouded by crowds of insane, panicking men.

Granted. It's forward to Christmas Eve once again and the flower and giftshop is overrun with insanely panicking men who forgot to buy anything untl the last minute.

I wish my dog could talk.