Corrupt A Wish

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Granted. you are now in the middle of the Sahara desert. And it is easy to catchup with the sand.

I wish people would stop driving and doing other things like using cell phones, putting on makeup, texting or reading a newspaper!

Granted. They are now blind and can't see where they are driving.

It's nearly lunchtime and I wish I had a New Orleans Shrimp Poorboy for lunch.

Granted. a little boy from new Orleans appears and asks you for shrimp as he is Shrimp Poor.

I wish people would ask you the question they want answered instead of the one they asked you, which has nothing to do with the answer they want. And that they would ask you for a report having all the information they want instead of coming back later and asking for more and telling you to take things out. Because they didn't ask the right question.

Granted. People now only ask the right questions, although you never wished for the right answers.

I wish it snows so much tomorrow, I don't have to go to work.

Granted. It snows so much that the roof collapses at work and you don't have to go to work until they rebuild the entire building. Oh, yes. All your pipes freeze as well. Be ready for a very cold, wet day.

I wish for Peace on Earth and Goodwill to All Men (and women and children and horses and goldfish).

Granted, but there would hardly be anything interesting in the newspapers.

I wish I could always make people feel happy!

Granted, but the grand jury voted this morning on your indictment for illegally distributing happy pills and a warrant has been issued. Expect a knock on the door by a swat team at 5 am tomorrow morning.

I wish that Texas A&M University could win the national championship in all sports next year.

Granted. All other schools leave the NCAA leaving A&M as the only remaining member thus they win by default.

I wish to translate Sentinelese into English.

Granted but they are not going to allow you to leave their remote island and return to civilization, you'll have to join their tribe!

I wish I had a way to be in two places at once....

Granted. You have just been chopped in half with an axe.

I wish for an unending supply of free red wine

Granted, but prepare to die of intoxication.

I wish I could go to Disney World!

Granted, but one of the Disney World rides you are on (presumably a roller coaster) disfunctions and you fall to your death.

I wish I could go to Hollywood.

You didn't say what you wanted to do there, try to get in the movies or whatever...
you break one of California's weird laws while there and land up behind bars - in Hollywood! They decide to deport you and take you to LA Intl airport at once - at least you were in Hollywood.

I wish I had perfect eyesight without wearing contacts or glasses.

Granted, but you are destined to spend the rest of your life deep in a cave without natural or artificial light. Tens of thousands of years from now, your great great great great ... great grandchildren will no longer even have eyes.

I wish it would rain. (During Noah's flood with 40 days and 40 nights of rain, we only got a quarter of an inch here.)

Granted, but it would never stop raining, and you would eventually drown in it. Even if you survived, your house would come off of its foundation due to the moist ground and you would drift away, with nothing to live on except dirty rainwater and expired foods.

I wish I could live my next life as a housecat.

Granted but your owners have a fierce little lapdog as well, which doesn't get on with you and chases you away from the fireside, the cushion and the food every time.


I wish I could have a robot to do all the housework for me such as cleaning and polishing!