Corrupt A Wish

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Granted, your hair has been turned into curtains.
I wish I was taking a nap.

Granted. Once upon a time, you were taking a lovely walk through an enchanted forest. There, you meet a strange, old woman. She looks a bit dodgy, but you aren't one to judge a book by its cover. So the two of you get to talking, and she offers you a nice, red, juicy apple. Now you know it's a bit odd to be offered this from someone you've just met, but you were taught never to take candy from a stranger. Fruit, you figure, is perfectly fine – and healthy. Or so you thought. One bite of the apple and you fall into a long nap that lasts for many years.

Eventually, Prince Charming finds you in the woods and kisses you, waking you from your long slumber. But instead of falling in love with you, he is horrified to see that this beautiful corpse he found lying in the middle of a forest has, in fact, turned out to be alive. Disgusted, the necrophilic prince leaves you in the woods, forever diminishing your respect for men and romance – and apples.

Hmm ... I wish I had something better to do in my weekend than to write a hack-job parody of a children's story.

Granted, there is always retroactively editing the story to reflect my actual gender and orientation.

I wish for a good 4th of July holiday coming up, for I will be spending it with Aspie friends this year.

Wish approved....you and your friends get to set off the town's fireworks.

However, your OCD Great-Aunt Maude ran all the fireworks through the dishwasher so they would be nice and clean for the festivities.

I wish that I could go to the fair.


Sylkat

Granted. There will be a torrential thunderstorm there. Plus you will get ripped off there.

I wish to build an elevator to the moon.

Granted, but you never have enough cups of sugar to power it with.

I wish I could get myself out the door to go get a haircut, I've been procrastinating all afternoon.

Granted but with your new sprint shoes you slip on a banana and crack your skull . So now you also need some stitches.

I Wish I could be a great and well known writer

Granted. Your works won't be known until after you die.

I wish to live in a hobbit hole.

You shall find the Hobbit Hole of your dreams...

You shall begin moving your furniture and books in, and hooking up the stove and computer...

Then the actual owner shows up, somewhat annoyed by a squatter, which is you.....

Bet you did not know how big pythons are, did you?


I want a Chocolate Malt and Hot Tea, and a cool evening.


Sylkat

Granted; however, the chocolate malt and the hot tea were poured into the same cup due to a resource shortage, which is unfortunate because it lowers the temperature of the warm tea that could have provided you some relief in this five-below weather.

I wish that I didn't feel so drained.

Silly Werewolf...

You feel drained because a Vampyre has been slithering into your window each night as you sleep...

Not those pretty, boring 'Twilight' types, the real, nasty, Max Shreck/Nosferatu blood-drinker!

Your wish shall be granted, but it will take some work.....how much fresh garlic can you manage to acquire by nightfall?

I, personally, wish for a large number of silver or gold Crucifixes......WerewolfPoet and I have a Secret Project going on.....


Sylkat

Granted, but it's being delivered by steamship, and before it gets to you some angry vampires turn up at your door. Shame you don't have a single crucifix inside your house. Or a stake. Or a gun.

I wish I could fix up the mistakes of my past.

With one exception:

Granted, there is always retroactively editing the story to reflect my actual gender and orientation.

Ooooh, dat wascawwy wabbit!!

Granted, but you have to be reincarnated first, and fix them all as a female star-nosed mole.

I wish I was a giant squid. Yes, you heard me.

Okay.

You get to become a Giant Squid.

But you materialize in Martha Stewart's swimming pool.

Being the obsessive craft person she is, she braids all of your tentacles together.


I wish I could stand this heat better.



Sylkat

Congrats! you are now a porcelain doll just chilly undisturbed by this terrible heat.
in a playroom of course.
Oh and You're not one of those that can be clued together//////

my wish was granted, since i didn't have to grant a wish.

but i have another wish...

i wish i could travel the world.