Corrupt A Wish

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Wish granted.

Your culinary creations become legendary, your restaurant is booked every night.

Unfortunately, your temper begins to rival that of Ivan The Terrible, and no one will come work for you, so your restaurant has to close.

I wish I had a waterbed.


Sylkat

Granted.

But due to a mistake in the order it is 1/10 scale.

I wish that cheese came in IV form.

Granted. Since it is directly put into your blood vein, it will travel to your arteries and immediately block them.

I wish to finish the unfinished symphony.

Wish granted.

But did you have to specify a Heavy Metal Wish Fairy?

Your section of the aforementioned symphony sounds like an unholy blend of Dimmu Borgir, Winds Of Plague, Slayer, and Belphegor.

In a particularly bad mood.

I wish for a row of Italian Cypresses.


Sylkat

Granted,
But the Italian Cypresses is the name of a new lounge singer band that line up in front of your bedroom window and never stop annoying you.

I wish that wishes were horses.

Granted! You are suddenly trampled by a cavalcade of beggars on horseback.

I wish I had my desktop PC put back together.

Granted.
But when it's put back together it becomes self aware and spawns trillions of AI personalities on the internet who then take over and enslave all of humanity.

I wish my neighbors would realize that the 4th of July was yesterday and stop shooting off bottle rockets.

Granted, they start setting off sticks of dynamite in the street.

I wish I could recall and control all the AI personalities, now that my desktop is back up and running again.

Granted.

But they are actually little yellow Minions, like the movie 'Despicable Me', and they are really annoying, and they will not leave your house.

I wish that I had a new front door.

Sylkat

Granted, but it's been infected with one of Theta's AI personalities, and it's constantly giving sass to your visitors as they come to your house. On bad days, it shouts obscenities at your neighbours and they start disliking you.

I wish I could fly like Superman, and also have his strength and speed.

Granted by the Superhero Fairy.

However, on one of your first flights, you close your eyes in bliss, and smack into a Transformer, who does NOT appreciate the dent in his chrome.

You are in so much trouble for that!

I wish for a six foot fence.


Sylkat

Granted. It is 6 feel wide so can be easily walked around.

I wish to escape from a black hole.

Granted.

Here's a nice map and a pair of hiking boots.

I wish for an outdoor shower.


Sylkat

Granted. But you have to shower outdoors in front of your whole neighbourhood.

I wish i had a beautiful mansion to live in.

Granted, says the Haunted House Fairy.

But it is The Winchester House, in California.

I wish I could spend a week at Hearst Castle.

Sylkat

Granted, you get to work as cleaner there for a week. Unfortunately you have so much to clean you have no time to enjoy the sights of the place.

I wish I could visit the Alhambra in Spain.