Corrupt A Wish

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You find a pretty Alexandrite pendant by the side of the road, as you are walking home.
Unfortunately, when you put it on it becomes clear that the pendant is cursed and can not be removed.
It slowly leeches your soul to feed the Demon Prince of the Underworld, until eventually it consumes your spirit completely.



I wish that I could blast bullies with laser beam eyes.

Granted.

You are now a seventy-year-old College Algebra Professor, known both for his three-hour-lectures, and for having bored at least five previous students to death.

I wish for rain today.


Sylkat

Granted, and we here at Wish Corruption Unltd. are bringing you some extra special rain today:

http://www.space.com/21928-alien-planet ... ealed.html

"HD 189733b is 63 light-years from Earth and a "deep cobalt blue," with raging storms of glass rain and super-fast winds, scientists say."

I wish I had more money right about now.

Granted, you get a lifetime supply of Monopoly money. Spend it wisely.

I wish I could be a chef (note: a chef, not some guy who flips burgers)

Wish granted.... You are a famous, rich chef.

Chef Boyardee!

All the Serious Chefs and Gourmet Snobs of the world resent you for making your money from canned spaghetti.


I wish l had a trike.


Sylkat

granted. You lose all other modes of transportation and will use only that for your travels.

I wish for a light that shines brightly on everyone else but is dark to me.

Granted. The light also blocks all of your sensory input, driving you mad the longer you use it.

I wish I had a street-legal motor vehicle which runs with minimal fuel.

Granted. You are the proud owner of a shiny new solar powered vehicle, and it's made just for squirrels. They especially like its tiny klaxon that scares away predators.

You can fit in there, right?

Wish I was not allergic to cats.

Okay You find a spray which cures you of your allergy.
Unfortunately, it makes you seem totally irresistible to cats.
So while being around cats no longer makes you ill, there are cats everywhere you go.
You can't open a window for ventilation or the front door, without several cats getting into your house ; which then refuse to leave.
Every night is a waking nightmare of happy kittens and cats.... all snuggling you enthusiastically until you're eventually deranged from lack of sleep.



I wish that I had a magic chocolate cake that you can keep taking slices out of forever, and eating them won't make you fat.

Granted, but the chocolate cake is cursed so that every bite you take makes you lose a kg and makes you physically need to take another bite.

I wish that I was home right now.

You suddenly find yourself home..... but materialise in the middle of a wall...... ooooh that's going to need more than a plaster !


I wish that I could fly.

Granted. You become a mosquito which gets squished.

I wish I had some ice cream to eat now.

Granted. It has all melted. And i see you have nothing to hols the melted ice cream in.

I wish to fight the system and actually win for a change.

Granted. You beat the system and become the supreme ruler of the world only to be assassinated by team of highly trained ferrets trying to resurrect the system you deconstructed.

I wish I could dig a hole to China.

granted, but then you fall back into the hole right after you finish digging and fall all the way home, reaching terminal velocity in the process.

I wish I knew why corn beef tasted so darn good.