Well I'm so aspie I ... [game]

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I'm sooooooooooooooooooooo Aspie
I ride my invisible bicycle into cars on purpose.

... I've been told off more than once by a complete stranger for bumping into him her, and/ or knocking his/ her belonging to the ground and not apologizing.
Thing is, if I am aware of making such a collision, I *always* say I'm sorry, whether I bumped into a person, or an inanimate object. If I bump into you and I don't apologize, it's because I didn't notice I bumped into you. That is not an unusual occurrence for me.
Even though, I'm nice to inanimate objects, and apologize when I bump into them, I don't think they like me very much. It's not unusual for an inanimate object I'm holding to randomly fly out of my hand.
It was some time after my sixth birthday that I figured out the proper response to "Happy Birthday," is not to say "Happy Birthday," back, but "Thank you." On my sixth birthday, I wished several people a happy birthday following their birthday greetings to me.
I've learned to take it in stride when I'm greeted by someone I don't recognize. I'm not in the habit of using names every time I greet/ speak to people anyway. When this happens, I follow the same script I do when I'm greeted by someone I recognize. I arrange my face into what I hope looks like a smile, and say,"Hi," "Hello," "Good Morning," or "Have a good evening," depending on the time of day. If the person asks, "How are you?," my response is, "I'm okay, how are you?" Of course, if I accicentally skip ahead in my mental script, I might respond to "Hi," or "Good Morning,"
with, "I'm okay, how are you?" A conversation with me must be such an exciting event. Maybe that's why many people don't make much effort to talk with me. They can't take all that excitement and unpredictability.
Additionally, some of my best conversations are imaginary. On a good day, I can be a brilliant conversationalist when the conversation is taking place in my own head. I just haven't quite mastered generalizing that skill to conversations with other people.

that wasn't because you are an aspie - it was because you're a dwarf!

(I know - it was a high sink, or you were bending down. Or you are a dwarf.)

I definitely know this one, except I find that talking to myself out loud (when alone) helps to practice tone, intonation, pacing even face expressions and hand gestures. It sounds stupid, however it definitely helps on the off chance I want to an actual conversation. If I have not talked for too long, when I do open my mouth only a random collection of letters fall out.

This does have one downside however,

I'm so aspie have been caught making facial expressions and hand gestures to a conversation which was only in my head (not talking out loud)

This has not happened often, and I never realize i'm am doing it when it does, but people find it really weird

I'm so aspie i have repeatedly responded to a person who has waved or said hello, before I realize they are talking to someone behind me (how am I supposed to know that i have never met you before?)

I'm so aspie I almost fell out of my chair laughing at this

I'm so aspie I've had conversations with people who were actually speaking to someone else / on the phone.

I'm so aspie I mark off each day on the calendar in perfectly straight lines.

I'm so aspie I get excited at the sight of a dictionary or textbook because that means I can read it when I have nothing else to do.

I'm so aspie I once requested a dictionary for Christmas.

I'm so aspie I always use correct grammar, even online and when texting.

I'm glad I could amuse you.
I've also had conversations with people who are on the phone with someone else. Sometimes I can't tell whether someone's talking to me or to another person.

I'm so aspie, I can turn into a one man band, spank a pinball machine, fight off a steampunk onset, quintiple myself, have compassion for the universe, turn my legs into a wheel, talkatwarpspeed, pack the Daffy Ducks, suck it up obsessively, summon illegal instructions, go super, and not know all of the above is impossible. Woohoo!

I'm so aspie i, get nervous and panic when complimented, and try and respond with an identical compliment before thinking

supervisor: thank you, you worked really hard today
me: You worked hard as well, it was a hard push but we got it all done
supervisor: ???

girlfriend: don't worry, I love you just the way that you are
me: I love you too? (wait, no sh*t)
ex-girlfriend: huh?

conversation closings always get me too,

customs agent: have a good flight
me: have a good flight
customs agent: (suspicious stare)
me: have a good workday?
customs agent: you have been randomly selected for additional screening

I'm so Aspie that the moment managers at work find out I have AS, they physically remove me away from my co-workers to an office a floor above, because it's deemed "Right, he's not one of us, he should be removed".

I'm so aspie I've made a schedule for college for the next four years

I'm so aspie I asked for towels for my birthday

I'm so aspie I took my pet ferret to my psychologist's office...just to show her

I'm so Aspie, people swear at me on the street when trying to walk around or past them, because my co-ordination is such that I often walk into them.

I'm so aspie, I've been wearing the same thing for about 3 days in a row

Some of the posts in this thread, um, what people wrote, seem to straightly come out of my, let's say, biography.

I'm so AS.... I once fell off our little sailing boat, into the water thus, twice on the same afternoon. Earlier at home, I thought the shoes I picked were great, for they had rubber soles. Rubber soles and the teak wood decking of the boat could be a good choice indeed.... but I forgot, then, that the shoes were way too small actually.... and this in combination with my quite bad sense of balance. :plons:

Ummm.

It wasn't a habit of mine to fall into the water (um, of the p/m 40 sailing trips I was on that boat, only that day the water seem to have an irresistible lure or something).... plus after the first time I could borrow some dry clothes from my two friends then.. but after the second time.. no more clothes to borrow.

Post scriptum.... not sure now, I was shoed the second time though.

I'm so Aspie I fell down the stairs at school while reading a book.

I always have a book with me and if i don't want to put it down i will walk and read at the same time. I just got out of geography and so engrossed in my book i missed a step and fell down half the stairs, i have not done that again, i stop reading now when i am in the stair wells at school lol

I'm so aspie I can improve DePatie-Freleng's overall quality, fire every single element at all directions, be friends with a genie, perform the Spin Dash, talk with Shropshire Slashers, wear green grins, teleport with at least 50 rings, feed a school with humble pies, peck wood, play Calvinball perfectly, make people blame themselves - and melt - on command, summon an army of Wile E. Coyotes, and not know all of the above is impossible. Woohoo, woohoo!