Corrupt A Wish

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Granted but when you drink it, your tea will be cold.

I wish it was November 4th, 2008 already, so I can commit my first vote.

Granted. However, Diebold invalidates your vote completely in order to allow the pre-selected candidate to win.



I wish that I had more money.

Granted, however this places you in a higher tax bracket
which means you actually work more for less.

I wish I had remembered to nip down to the oyster whole-saler just up the road from me this morning to satiate my sudden oyster craving.
Now its closed and I'll have to pay retail for not as fresh!

Granted. You made it down the the oyster wholesaler in time this morning. However, you interupt the local mob making their racketeering persuasion. Neither the merchant nor the enforcers apreciate this interuption, and both decide to kill you. You start running, and have been hiding all day. Now, the DA wishes to have you testify. However, the mob has left word that if you do so, they will take the punishment out on your first grade teacher. Now, you wouldn't care so much as you never like that teacher. However, it would leave the town minus one first grade teacher. You would feel responsible, and have to try to fill their shoes. Unfortunately, you know nothing about teaching.


I wish that I could simulate circuits in my head.

Granted but cars drive across them and it makes you distracted so you cannot concentrate on the outside world.

I wish that NTs aren't so difficult to understand.

Granted! NT's world wide are implanted with a direct link device, enabling them to understand spectrum intent and inuendo completely! Unfortunately, due to a research organization's copy of your signature at the bottom of a 15 pages of small print that you signed while setting up a free forum registration somewhere on the web; you alone are left out of the link devices process.


I wish people would take my reporting of violent crime seriously.

Granted, but the people do not listen and even more serious crimes occur.

I wish I had all the books in the world.

Granted! The key to every library is gifted to you by world leaders...Unfortunately, the keymaker made a mistake and it only fits a 73 dodge pickup.

I wish I had a monkey.

Granted. It insists on being accompanied by its entire troop.

I wish I could understand why my wireless router won't work.

Granted! It explodes and you don't have to worry about it.

I wish for a new job.

Granted,you die and in heaven god makes you the 'why did I lose my keys' complaints department janitor.

I wish I didn't waste so much time.

Granted. But instead, you waste your hobbies.

I wish I was more comfortable talking about my covert services
to the community.

You will stop being ashamed of your charity to the degree that you give away all your belongings in the most pompous way possible, becoming the laughingstock of your town.

I wish I didn't get pimples and boils.

Granted, but your nose grows every time you tell a lie.

I wish everyone was better.

Granted, but now they must talk in gibberish for a whole year.

I wish to see in the future.