Corrupt A Wish

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Granted! Gold is worth a lot and you have plenty of it to sell, but all that money you make from selling all that gold is lost to a gambling problem.

I wish to vacation in a tropical paradise.

Granted. Shame you can only afford to travel to Canada for your vacation. But don't worry: with global warming around the corner, it'll be a tropical paradise in no time. As for the US, well ...

I wish I had a singing lyrebird.

Granted. While you’re there the small Pacific island paradise is hit by tsunamis. You float away along with the friendly islanders, the other tourists and all the residences.

I wish to be able to turn invisible and visible at will.

Oh snap, you posted while I was writing

Granted, but the lyrebird has a dreadful voice

Granted! You have that power now! Too bad people hear you coming a mile away, so the invisibility is sort of useless.

I wish I didn't procrastinate as much.

Granted, you’re now bored out your wits being all work and no play.


I wish there would be more seasons of Discovery channel's "monsters inside me".

Granted, but while you are enjoying the extra seasons you find that you have parasites living inside of you.....and you find yourself on an episode.

I wish I was better at corrupting wishes.

I think you're corruptions are great fun!


Granted but now no-one will play with you because you outdo us all.


I wish to never have any parasites! Yuck!

Granted! No will never get parasites. However, every kind of blood-thirsty tick will find it's way to you, your home is full of ants, gnats, roaches and spiders, and your bed is full of bed bugs.

I wish I never had to study for anything, but still pass everything with flying colors.

Granted. It’s called cheating and you get caught and expelled.


I wish to never ever have my home full of ants, gnats, roaches or spiders, nor my bed full of bed bugs. I don’t wanna see any ticks, wasps, bees, mites or rodents either.

Granted! You never see any of those things, but you come across your fair share of snakes.....poisonous ones! Watch out! They're everywhere...even in your dreams!

I wish I could be in two places at once.

Granted, you’re cloned and can be in two places at once. However you and your clone don’t see eye to eye on who will do what, so you just fight over who gets to do what (not to mention who gets to avoid the boring stuff!) and nothing gets done.


I wish to never encounter any venomous animals.

Granted! Venomous creatures never cross your path, but the nonvenomous ones still do and their bite may be just as painful.

I wish to see British Columbia someday!!

Granted.

Beware of the grizzly bears though!


I wish I could go back to England again.

Granted, but do you know what's on the menu of everywhere you go in England? Liver! Yum!

I wish to investigate a haunted location just for the fun of it.

Grrr… Kidney pie too. Blech! Thank heavens they got other food there!!

Granted. Just for the fun of it you go investigate a haunted location. “I ain’t afraid of no ghosts!” The local poltergeist doesn’t care for your attitude. The angry poltergeist throws objects after you and chases you around the location. Too bad Ghost busters aren’t there, you could really need them now!

I wish I could share with you the wonder that is smalahove.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TTpUQ3Zn-mY[/youtube]